Oh, Puppy. I sooo know how your wife is feeling. Her letter to you was very well stated. She is looking to you to be a team in fighting for your marriage. She is sharing her fears and feelings of apprehension with you. This is not the time to call bullchit.
I need to provide some context here. The "calling her on her bullchit" thing was something SHE has brought up, more than once. She has said that the firm stance I took with her affair, and how I fought for her, was something that she needed. She has talked in general terms about "what women want/need" and has said "sometimes we need a man to call us on our bullshit." And she has SPECIFICALLY said that she has needed me to call her on HERS, immediately, instead of withdrawing and going some combination of pissy/pouty/angry/resentful.
It is with that backdrop that I struggle today with the "validate feelings-vs-2x4" question.
In re-reading my response to her from last nite, I really don't see where I "lectured" her. I DO think it was far, far too short, however, and she's looking for me to reveal much more of my true feelings here.
It's just hard, when this is the woman who has squashed your heart before, guys.
