Yes, we all are entitled to state our opinions. I think we all agree that we must focus on becoming better people first. Owning our faults and improving ourselves has to happen.
This is a marriage saving board however. I have yet to see a positive post in regards to a LBS standing for the marriage.
Yes you say "if you choose to then by all means stand." Then YOU choose to follow it up with something negative. Then that negative is followed by a statement that says your "different" or "real" or "cynical" or "not bitter."
This is also the mlc forum. I'm assuming you believe in mlc since you post here. It seems like you have been here long enough to know that mlc involves childhood issues and depression. No it doesn't excuse poor treatment or behavior, but IMO it explains it.
I guess we are just different. I choose to be positive. I choose to see that these people have issues from when they were kids. I choose to believe that the issues can in fact be resolved. No we can't do it for them, however we can understand and give them a chance without someone chiming in with ARRRG!!! or "these idiots would rather live in lice," or find it comical that someone's family member is on their deathbed and wants to go to heaven after having a mlc.
You just said it all, we are different and thik differently. I am willing to leave it at that, others aren't.
I do however wish you luck and will keep you in my prayers.
That was pretty much ALL that needed to be said.
And if someone tells you either nicely or otherwise not to post on their thread it is a respect issue to honor their wishes...no we don't actually own this thread or anything on the board it is an honor system it is a courtesy.
Really, deep down start asking yourself if what your posting is actually helping someone or just mean spirited to hurt them and their beliefs. And no; opening their eyes to what you believe isn't helping them.
Jack, you and I are certainly different in our beliefs, but let me assure you that I do not intend to be mean nor hurt anyone and I am sorry that people take it as such. I will say that I do give advice that is much different than most, with that being said, no one has to take it. I am a very positive person, I know that many on here don't believe that, and that is thier right. I do believe that one gets more positive when they start moving forward and stop obsessing about the EX or STBX, or whatever you wish to call it. I sincerely believe that the best chance to rebuild the marriage comes with those who move ahead and build themselves and not worry about what the WAS/MLCer is doing. I just have a different style and way about myself, sorry if it isn't to some people's liking, but that is the way I am.
What is in our hearts is reflected by our words and deeds.
You don't have to convince me that your positive.
In truth:
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And if someone tells you either nicely or otherwise not to post on their thread it is a respect issue to honor their wishes...no we don't actually own this thread or anything on the board it is an honor system it is a courtesy.
That was for you BH. Nothing else.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
First off, I want to say congrats to MWG. That is awesome.
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I would sleep with one eye open. I would have felt better about the situation had he left on his own, but with her throwing him out leaves some unresolved issues IMO.
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I am pleased that MWG got what she wanted a h home, but given that he has no job and his mistress kicked him out in the early morning-where else did he have to go? It is not the actions of a repentant man but someone desperate. This is not the first time he has come back, or even the second. So yes caution is absolutely necessary.
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I happen to agree with BH and Naej. In these situations, caution is always key. I too hope this works for MWG, but after going through this, there is a lot of trust and honesty that must be rebuilt. To not go into a reconciliation without some amount of caution may ultimately mean that the problems will resurface again.
More than one person has shown a little worry in the situation so why is it braveheart is the only one being bashed? Jack and Trapt, no matter how wonderful it is that the man came home, caution is warrented. His actions are from a man who was kicked out by the OW. Where else was he to go at 3am?
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he said things had been quite tense between them for a long time and it was getting worse. he said all of a sudden, she kicked him out at 3AM, accused him of cheating on her with me (I laughed at this) and also, she was ticked off that he would not divorce me.
Things were tense for a long time, why not leave when he wanted and not because she kicked him out?
No matter how nice it must be to have her husband back home, I would be leary of it.
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It's a tad bit difficult to focus on the "meaning" when it is overshadowed by negativity. This journey is dark enough as it is.
I'm sorry but you can't be positive all the time. Sometimes we need the negativity and the pity parties to let go of some emotions. Keeping things bottled up and trying to "act" like you are in a positive mood all the time doesn't work. People who agree all the time are not helping out either. Trapt, what is the "meaning"? Explain that to me please.
