Tomorrow, we I will just prepare myself for the worst.
So let me start right there with a little positive motivation from one of the most conflicted people I know.
What you are thinking is the "worst". You are going to come out of this without your husband?
Here is what I think... You are going to come out of this being a better person and happier about yourself. You are going to come out of this doing things that you most likely stopped and missed. You are going to come out of this stronger as a person. You are going to come out of this better prepared for your next relationship whether it be with your husband or someone else you find. That next person (very possibly your husband)is going to be better off when they find someone like you that has done the sole searching, read the help books and is committed to making a relationship work! You're going to come out of this with you pride and confidence that you did everything you could to make your marriage work. And I hope with your husband.
But that is far from the "worst"! It feels that way now and I (we) know that. That's why people stay on this site even after they have moved on or reconciled. Because they understand how hard this is and want to help others.
I shouldn't have to go into what the worst is... but one example is a friend that lost his wife, quit his job because he couldn't deal with it, lost his house and is now homeless trying to put his life back together using only strands of what he once had.
Stay positive! Easier said than done - I know. But look at where you know you will be inthe future and keep your focus there.... You will be happy, you will be with someone in a stronger realtionship, you will reach the goals you are setting for yourself, you will reconnect with old friends. Focus on these things that are a high probability and you have control over.
Everytime I see some other communication between my wife and her new interest it rips a part out of me. I have even seen communciations that even make jest of the my situation and where he shows concern for my daughter..after he stepped in an pursued my wife knowing she had a daughter. I now choose not to focus on that and it's hard... until I learned to focus on the bright spots that have been brought into my life since this ugly thing happened.
Who knows Orchid, you may reach a point where you look back and are curious about what you thought was the "worst".
I have met people in new realtionships that are so glad they are with this new person. I have friends that have reconciled and are so glad they did and are happier than they were before they had probomes. I have friends that are single afterwards and are completely at peace with themselves. Think about the options... You'll be one of these people and the common thread is they are all happy. It just took time and a struggle to get there. And you'll have friends along the way!
