My first question would be, why do you have strong feelings? To me seems like a simple email from her expressing some of her worries to you. Do you call her on her 'bullchit' usually?
What bs are you seeing in this email?
Her emailing and not just talking is quite poignant to me and suggests that calling her on 'bs' is the wrong lane to go down if you want the conversation to work. She has obviously been doing a lot of thinking about your relationship and where things are at the moment and as a woman feels the need to verbalise and express herself to get clarity on her thoughts. Think of it as 'work in progress' not BS.
Look at the clues in the email as to where she is at.
- she see's several options as resolutions of the problem but is not sure what is best so wants to explore them with you. But if you look at them they are not solutions or resolutions they are feelings, she is exploring her feelings and anxieties.
Here are some of her dilemmas I have picked out.
"The one thing she said was to be very careful to not give false hope to them... We should not tell them that everything is going to work out since we don't really know that... I also told her that down the road we mentioned renewing our vows..."
The worry about giving them false hope seems to be the main one and her worry about an uncertain future - whether your r can work or not.
You came back with trying to fix the problem instead of showing understanding, which belittled her worries somewhat imo.
Re-read your response to her.
You are best friends... if this was a different topic of conversation and you had a conversation that 'worked'. How would you play it?
