Well things at work are falling apart. Allot of good people were let go and "management" is expecting the people left to clean up the mess management created. Me.. I now feel like a "visitor" here. I have 28 more working days. I come in listen to the other employees Bi$ch and go home.
I am learning to not let the outside environment control my attitude or feelings. I see now how the saying "for every action there is a reaction" can be true. But but what I am trying to do is "for every action there could be a CONTROLED reaction"
My wife was on the phone last night taking to our D about BF problems (D's not Wife's). As I was in the other room listening I felt like that Cartoon that has the guy sitting there and the little devil in standing on one shoulder and whispering in my ear.."Ya right, BS our D how you know how to handle relationships by having affairs" And on my other shoulder is the little angel whispering "let it go you can not relive the past and you are only responsible for what you do and how you feel"....
I do recognize that allot of this was not really caused by me directly but how I sometimes reacted to things wife did and It just added fuel to the fire. I have seen this especially reading things here how other H's are reacting (like IRISH's H) and seeing how I did some of the things he does and looking from the outside how wimpy I too reacted. Like a little kid saying "look at me Mom" "look at what I did" or pouting like a kid when things did not go my way."saying you don't love me anymore" Don't get me wrong I am not there yet. It's hard to have to Think first and then react. Again last night Wife and son started making home made Ice Cream about 1/2 hour before my normal bed time. When my bed time approached and the Ice Cream was not done yet I caught myself falling in to the little kid role and thinking "I wanted some, why did SHE start it so late." In the past I would have probably told Wife that while stomping off to bed. But instead this time I just said good night to wife on my way to bed. Wife asked "Aren't you going to wait for the Ice Cream? It should be done real soon." I thought for a moment and said "ya sure I'll wait". Wow 51 years old and I am finely growing up...
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
