Hoop, I'm so nervous, I'm on an adrenaline high. D talked to her mom and she asked where I was. D told her I was on a walk and I was. She said please have your Daddy call me--I will not. Wal Mart Trac phone--good idea.
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Wonder why she is so worried today after being gone for months?
Because her parents warned her--that's why. They tried to be sneaky about it but they failed miserably. Their grade for today is F. She's worried for her career. Funny how she wasn't worried about her daughter but now she's worried about being exposed.
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Is it time for her to start telling everyone how abusive you are, controlling, sucidial, etc...don't let them see you sweat! Right now is the time to back-off and think.
Yeah, I'm not too worried about that since I've already told my commander about what's going on. I'm thinking I hope she's so worried she has trouble sleeping. I thinking I hope she's paying attention about what's really going on now. I'm thinking she better be careful how she approaches me. I'm thinking I need to calm down and get a good night sleep.
Thanks Hoop!
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
And she just called AGAIN and now AGAIN and left no message. WOW, I must have struck a nerve. I am really, really nervous now, I hope she isn't going to do something stupid.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
You have no control over her...if she keeps calling I would answer her to see what she wants and if she starts talking about something you do not want to talk about tell her you do not want too talk, ask her not to call back unless an emergency ...you and your daughter need your sleep...never say anything to her on the phone that you do not want recorded and played for someone else...ask her if she is ready for no contact with the OM, if not goodbye.
Isn't the OM scheduled for a TDY in the morning? Wonder what the plans were for tonight? Hopefully reality is setting in for both of them...unlikely right now as neither has paid and dues for the fun so far...I would also ask what her plan is for the rest of the bills...do that in the morning via email..something like "Since you turned off the phone what else can I expect to get shutoff so I can make sure daughter has food and clothes"...that was one of the reasons I wanted you to secure your money...if the utilities are in her name I would consider putting everything in your name.
Stay calm...it may not seem like it but you are doing as well as can be expected in this situation...there is no winner you have to do the best you can and you are doing well if you can keep up the pace...stay strong
yeah, she hasn't called back and hopefully she won't. I guess I will answer next time if she does. I'll say something to the effect of I'm too tired to talk right now, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Don't know but hopefully in-laws call ruined her plans as she's called about 30 times now.
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Hopefully reality is setting in for both of them...unlikely right now as neither has paid and dues for the fun so far
Man, I hope so. Based on the number of phone calls, she's worried. I don't know why it doesn't feel good sitting in that fabled catbird seat(or whatever it's called)
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something like "Since you turned off the phone what else can I expect to get shutoff so I can make sure daughter has food and clothes
I thought about this and I'm not going to say a damn thing to her because I don't want her to think I'm bothered by it--I'll act like nothings wrong and go get a tracphone tomorrow like you said
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Stay calm...it may not seem like it but you are doing as well as can be expected in this situation...there is no winner you have to do the best you can and you are doing well if you can keep up the pace...stay strong
Staying calm is tough at this point--even though I kicked ass on my pt test and swam today and took a walk I could probably go work out again and still have leftover energy. You're absolutely right, there is no winner in this sitch! Damn, that sucks.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
AFWAW, I hope you are asleep right now...you deserve and need it. Remember, stay away from the alcohol. You could not do anything worse right now than get a rep as a boozer taking care of your daughter. I do not want to influence your decisons other than to bring options to the table for you to consider.
That being said...you should always have hope that this will end and you will have the life you want and deserve. You also need to be aware that this could go to pot in an instant. Traditionaly the male is the one who ends up with nothing and paying most of his salary for years when the W is the one having the affair...why is this? Because most males do not accept that they have lost thier family and think it will get better instantly if they give the W everything she wants in the divorce she will realize how good a man he is...it is rare that this happens. Soon your W is going to have a lawyer or someone who has went through this and will start getting her "smart" on divorce and she will try to screw you over...she will justify this as "need the money to support daughter, the money is not used for my party clothes, new car, drinks, vacations, etc...so, I tell you this to remind you that you must also prepare for divorce at the same time you are hoping for your marriage to work.
You cannot keep missing opportunities to collect evidence to show she is an unfit mother...for example, cutting the cell phone off without telling you. That is why you need to ask her if she is going to get mad and shut off the electricity to the house, the water, cable, etc. And you have the funds to take care of everything as a single dad until you can get a court order for CS, correct? Expect no help at all for a minimum of 2-3 months but expect it to take about 6 months. Your lawyer might be able to give you a more realistic time frame.
How will your daughter call you tomorrow if she needs you, the only parent she can count on right now as her mother has left her?
AFWAW to Judge - Sir, I immediately went out and bought another phone, and told my neighbor who promised to help. I could not call my wife as I was uncomfortable asking her for help anyway with her four affairs while I was serving in Iraq protecting our country and her leaving both of us the day after I got back and telling my daughter he is a cute 55 yr old man (that is married.)
I know it may appear sneaky or against your nature when dealing with your W but you have to do a mental pause X right now and accept that she is not your wife and do whatever you have to to protect yourself, your money, your property, your job, as that is what takes care of your daughter. You can always redo any settlement when she (your D) is married or supporting herself...until then your W is not your partner in life taking care of this girl...you are on your own.
Great job. You are reacting well so far...again, no drinking, no booze in house, never get in an argument with your wife, treat every phone call as it is recorded, and emails, nothing she tells you is the truth, half of what she does is real if you watch her do it.
Your situation is about as good as it gets when you are in the middle...do not screw it up.
That is why you need to ask her if she is going to get mad and shut off the electricity to the house, the water, cable, etc. And you have the funds to take care of everything as a single dad until you can get a court order for CS, correct? Expect no help at all for a minimum of 2-3 months but expect it to take about 6 months. Your lawyer might be able to give you a more realistic time frame.
I thought about this one the way home and I told me daughter if this was the case we would simply grab some clothes and go to a hotel for the night, no big deal. I do have the funds to take care of everything at this point. If she doesn't want to pay CS, no big, that's on her.
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How will your daughter call you tomorrow if she needs you, the only parent she can count on right now as her mother has left her?
She has my work number--I cannot take my cell into my building anyway.
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I know it may appear sneaky or against your nature when dealing with your W but you have to do a mental pause X right now and accept that she is not your wife and do whatever you have to to protect yourself, your money, your property, your job, as that is what takes care of your daughter. You can always redo any settlement when she (your D) is married or supporting herself...until then your W is not your partner in life taking care of this girl...you are on your own.
Yeah, that's a hard one to swallow but you're right and I'm doing my best to think that way.
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Great job. You are reacting well so far...again, no drinking, no booze in house, never get in an argument with your wife, treat every phone call as it is recorded, and emails, nothing she tells you is the truth, half of what she does is real if you watch her do it.
Thanks, funny, she called at 515 this morning and I let the machine get it. She wanted to talk to me about a movie night at her apartment for our daughter--yeah, ok, sure. I got my daughter up and told her that her mom called. She said ok. I told her that I'm going to get my shower and if her mom calls and wants to talk to me tell her I'll call her on my way to work on my cell phone--ha!
And, no I didn't sleep that well last night as pumped up as I am, I would still rather have my family intact
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
