AFWAW, I hope you are asleep right now...you deserve and need it. Remember, stay away from the alcohol. You could not do anything worse right now than get a rep as a boozer taking care of your daughter. I do not want to influence your decisons other than to bring options to the table for you to consider.
That being said...you should always have hope that this will end and you will have the life you want and deserve. You also need to be aware that this could go to pot in an instant. Traditionaly the male is the one who ends up with nothing and paying most of his salary for years when the W is the one having the affair...why is this? Because most males do not accept that they have lost thier family and think it will get better instantly if they give the W everything she wants in the divorce she will realize how good a man he is...it is rare that this happens. Soon your W is going to have a lawyer or someone who has went through this and will start getting her "smart" on divorce and she will try to screw you over...she will justify this as "need the money to support daughter, the money is not used for my party clothes, new car, drinks, vacations, etc...so, I tell you this to remind you that you must also prepare for divorce at the same time you are hoping for your marriage to work.
You cannot keep missing opportunities to collect evidence to show she is an unfit mother...for example, cutting the cell phone off without telling you. That is why you need to ask her if she is going to get mad and shut off the electricity to the house, the water, cable, etc. And you have the funds to take care of everything as a single dad until you can get a court order for CS, correct? Expect no help at all for a minimum of 2-3 months but expect it to take about 6 months. Your lawyer might be able to give you a more realistic time frame.
How will your daughter call you tomorrow if she needs you, the only parent she can count on right now as her mother has left her?
AFWAW to Judge - Sir, I immediately went out and bought another phone, and told my neighbor who promised to help. I could not call my wife as I was uncomfortable asking her for help anyway with her four affairs while I was serving in Iraq protecting our country and her leaving both of us the day after I got back and telling my daughter he is a cute 55 yr old man (that is married.)
I know it may appear sneaky or against your nature when dealing with your W but you have to do a mental pause X right now and accept that she is not your wife and do whatever you have to to protect yourself, your money, your property, your job, as that is what takes care of your daughter. You can always redo any settlement when she (your D) is married or supporting herself...until then your W is not your partner in life taking care of this girl...you are on your own.
Great job. You are reacting well so far...again, no drinking, no booze in house, never get in an argument with your wife, treat every phone call as it is recorded, and emails, nothing she tells you is the truth, half of what she does is real if you watch her do it.
Your situation is about as good as it gets when you are in the middle...do not screw it up.
