I didn't call wife all day and we had not made definite arrangements for me getting D3 after I got off work. I emailed her ... figuring that would limit the contact.. and she didn't get the email prior to her calling me about an hour before I left work. We set everything up and that was that.
When we met she was late. And she looked good. I was pretty sure that she was going to meet OM as soon as she got back into town. I asked where D3s blanket was and she was like... I forgot it. This isn't the first time that she has forgotten something.. more like the 3rd time in 4 weeks. Normally I would shrug it off but it just shows me that her mind is not on the kids and her mind is not on her pending divorce; that it's on him and her.
Tonight I let the kids answer the phone to talk to her before bed and I wasn't planning on talking with her at all. I made the decision to talk with her and it went so so.
As I said in my first post that on April 13th she said... delete her myspace account and I did. Well on Friday May1st she created a new one.. and what did it say... IN A RELATIONSHIP and who was the first friend she added... you got it... OM. Since then she was changed her status and mood 5 times ... the first 2 were about how happy she was.. etc... blah blah.. the last ones.. were obvious jabs at me. I talked with her last Saturday night about it only because she had been saying that she didn't wanna hurt me etc... I said that it can't more blatant than that. I asked her to delete it ... what more does she need? She is physically free of our marriage and can call or see him without fear of me catching her... why must she post PUBLIC information too? I know.. to hurt me...
Anyway... I got back on it with her tonight.. but with a new approach.. I told her.. keep the page up if you really wanna. I won't be a part of your games any longer. I won't read it again so say what you want to say and do what you want to do. But do it for you because from this point forward... your posts that you intend for me to see will be like a tree falling in a forest with no one to hear... and NO it won't make a sound.
After a few jabs back and forth by us both... I settled things down and really got into her head. Long story short I heard her typing.. and I was like OMG... she is on Myspace while we are talking.. that HO.... I said... what are you doing while we are talking. She said.. deleting my Myspace page. I said... what? She repeated what she said. I quietly pulled up her page and within a few minutes it was deleted. I said ok... but no point in that if you are only going to create one that you think I or no one else will find. She said.. No... I am not going too.. You have said some pretty powerful things tonight and I hear you.
One of the things I told her was that my father was TORN up about all of this. I asked her if she noticed that my father sat behind my mother and I last night and she acknowledged that she saw that. Well... I told her that he watched the whole program for D9 in tears... almost sobbing like a baby. And he did... no bs to that. I said.... your actions are DESTROYING the people that have loved you for the last 10 years... I let that sink in for a moment and then dropped the last bomb on her... I said "name one thing ... just one thing that my father has ever done to hurt you?".... she sat in silence and then quietly said. He has done nothing. I said... I have given my father plenty of reasons in 33 years of my life to have a heart attack... but if he has one during this sep/div... I would never forgive her.
End result... I got through to her. Not sure on what level but I did. You know.. what an UP and down journey this is going to be. Something hit me tonight. I have been almost begging and pleading people around WAW to ... talk some sense into her. If not for our marriage then for the fact that she is having an affair. What hit me tonight is that... I am the only person that can get through to her. Now some of you may not agree and think... back off completely. What I know is that ... deep down she is still there... I have to pick and choose my moments carefully... but I can still reach her.
What I must do is improve myself for myself... improve myself for my children.. and if the lord willing improve myself for my wife. There is NO way that we have any hope unless in the end we BOTH have true change but I will not give up.
This morning I tool my wedding ring off for the first time. Tonight I put it on again and won't take it off unless the divorce goes through a year from now.
