Man Overboard

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

So, when last we heard from our intrepid heroine, she was off to D9's counseling appointment.

DH met us there. D9 went back, spoke to her C for a few minutes, then came out and got daddy. I started textng and praying, reading my bible for her to have the courage and strength to say what she needed to. They were back for an hour. After, C whispered to me that D9 did great and was very brave.

I had no idea what was said. D9 asked to ride home with DH and I said sure. They got to the house before me and I walk into D17 in tears and livid. Apparently, D9 had told her what happened at C. DH told D9, his favorite out of the kids, that he is not coming home. He did not tell her why, did not explain anything. D9 said he was crying when he told her. I will get the full story from C tomorrow when I go with D9--DH will not be there, he has duty. In the kitchen, while getting dinner together, I asked D9 how she felt about that. She oh so politely informed me that "Daddy thinks he is in control. He does not know God is in control." Man, I LOVE that kid!!

DH was here Thursday until almost 10. Friday, he met us at the church for Family Game night and was right on time. He stayed the whole time. He met some of my friends, exchanged hugs and greetings with our pastor, and was generally outgoing. We played games with D6 and S3. D9 was off playing Twister with her friends. DH had been intimating all week (to the kids) that he wanted to take the kids to his parents' house for the night and bring them back on Saturday. He never mentioned it to me and when the kids would bring it up, he would shush them about it. He danced around the subject at the last minute at game night, but never came right out and asked. At one point, he and I went outside for a cigarette and he asked what our (the kids and I) plans were for Saturday. I told him maybe kites at the beach. He said he was going to see his Mom and Dad. I mentioned that the kids wanted to go to the amusement park but we were going to go the following (this) Saturday. He said that sounded nice and he could come along to help with the kids and the kids would like that. I agreed that they would and we began planning to go to the park.

Interesting to note--when he was going to go out for a cigarette, he went into the kitchen and asked the ladies doing the concessions if they needed any trash taken out. Our youth pastor has known our kids since D17 was 10 and she is LIVID with DH for hurting the kids--but she was polite and civil to him. My other friends were warm and welcoming, as was pastor.

On the way home from the church Friday night, D9 asked if I remembered the song about prayers breaking strongholds. I said yes. She said that is what we have to do for Daddy. (Hey Greek, now D9 is praying scriptures to raise the "dead man"--I thought of your text when she talked about praying this way!!)

Saturday, I went to the mall with SIL before she went to ILs house. I sent a gift down from the kids and I for Mother's Day, and a card from them and one just from me.

My Mother's Day was nice. Pastor's sermon was AWESOME and afterwards, he suggested giving it to DH. I told him that I thought it would be better coming from him. If DH goes to the church picnic in two weeks, Pastor may do it then. DH had duty on Mother's Day. I have yet to even receive a Happy Mother's Day from him, much less a card or anything else. No, I am not surprised.

He was here Monday and Tuesday by 4-4:30 and stayed until almost 10 both nights. Today, even knowing we were going to church, he was here by 3:30 and stayed right up until we left for church--even helping load the kids in the car. Yesterday, he fixed the fence and mowed the yard. He has eaten dinner here. He has made me coffee, been pleasant, chatting with me when I deign to be in the same room with him. Not that i am avoiding him, just staying busy.

Another interesting note. He mentioned to me yesterday that he was fighting to get one of his guys leave during a leave standdown period. Apparently, he is divorced and needs to leave to see his kid--other wide he will not see him until Christmas. DH was really pushing for it for the guy, but I could tell the idea of someone only seeing their kids a couple weeks at a time twice a year bothered him. It was obvious from his body language and the way he talked about it.

Bible Study was unbelievable tonight and just what I needed to hear. Pastor taught on my favorite chapter in Luke--Luke 15. Tonight he focused on the Parable of the Lost Sheep. I cried at the end and pastor told me not to worry, God will bring our lost sheep home, too. Last night, I was crying out to God, asking him what I need to do, what does He want me to do, to guide my path. I fell asleep praying for DH. When my alarm went off this morning, the following was on the radio--

Always by Building 429

LYRICS:

I was standing in the pour raining
One dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold
When she caught my eye
Her face was torn and her eyes were filled
And then to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph
And my heart just stopped inside
She said He would have been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face
What was I supposed to say

But I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always

He was living in a broken world dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace
When I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt
When his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears
And the anger locked inside
He's barely holding on to faith
But deliverance is on its way

'Cuz I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always

Friend I don't know where you are
And I don't know where you've been
Maybe you're fighting for your life
Or just about to throw the towel in
But if you're crying out for mercy
If there's no hope left at all
If you've given everything you've got
And you're still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on

Cuz I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
Always, Always
He will be with you always
He will be with you always
He will be with you

Immediately after, the DJ started praying for all those who are struggling and questioning where God is to know that He is always with us and will not let us fall. That He walks our troubles with us and will lead us out of the storm at the right time.

All my morning devotionals tied into this same theme of waiting and listening and leaning on the Lord.

D17, D9, FIL, and I will be spending the day with DH on the ship on the 30th. I am looking forward to that! I love hanging out on the ship!

He is still planning on taking leave to go to my cousin's wedding in June. We will be sharing a hotel room with D6 and S3, the older girls will say in my mom's room. It is almost an 8 hour drive each way. The wedding will have an open bar and the reception is in the same hotel we are staying in. HHHMMMMMM Can I get him drunk and take advantage of him????
Can I pretend to be drunk and let him take advantage of me????

All I know I, for a man who is "done" he is here all the time, helping with everything he can, and making future plans. I wonder if the OW knows how much time he is spending here and the time we are spending together doing things with the kids. I know I would not be happy about it if my BF was spending time with another woman and her kids.

So that is it for now.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW