Lucky, that's totally true, too...but in mamalala's case, I just suspect that he's draining what little sexual energy he has on a cheap and powerless solo orgasm...and so that's why I'd demand that it stop (the porn) and that most of his sexual energy be directed toward ME if I were her...however...as you are saying, once they get to the point of actually having some honest sexual discussions, I do hope they can find a way to enjoy porn together or at least learn a lot about each other! Until then, I think mr. mamalala KNOWS that its not cool for him to do this, and he should stop out of respect for what she is going through.
Also I have admitted before that when I was married and felt completely LD/ND toward my husband, I did still masterbate, mostly out of boredom (no porn though), quite frequently. And I know from that experience that, yes, I was draining what little sexual energy I may have had on something that really wasn't good for me anyway. I did also know on some level that this was cheating him out of something. I didn't tell him about it, obviously, as most people don't share their MB habits with each other. Not telling him was a sign I knew it wasn't quite right. It would be one thing if it was infrequent, but it wasn't. It was actually selfish of me, and I knew it somewhere inside. I was too lazy to figure out how to engage him (though lord knows I tried at other times...you know my story that way...I digress).....I was too lazy to even truly figure out how to be comfortable with true intimacy. Masterbation in replacement of sex with a partner, causes you to continue a bad cycle. Whereas fulfilling sex with a partner stimulates your whole being and sends you on a forward path. I know that mr. mamalala knows this under his skin, too.
So mamalala...just remember that he DOES KNOW that he is cheating you out of something when he masterbates and that he DOES KNOW that he should focus on you instead. Keep that in mind, expect him to be defensive, but stand your ground on everything. If you can do it with as little emotion as possible, great.
