Hmmmm..... I can see wanting to tell him ahead of time, but I think I might do it as a matter of informing him, not asking him. And I think the only thing I would try to get his feelings on is the custody issue. As far as serving him, I think I'd plan on it. If he won't accept, then you go to plan B. If hasn't really cost you anything. As far as who is going to pay, it is going to be how it is, let him deal with it.
