You are right Jeff. I like NOT having drama. Even though Dan probably thinks I stir things up intentionally....
For instance, I would like to do what the pastor said. Ask him one last time if he truly wants a divorce. (I KNOW, read the signs, he is not trying to get closer to me so he must want the divorce. BUT he refuses to say the words. Which is annoying!) If he says he wants one, or if he refuses to answer the question, then tell him that I am going to go ahead and go to the lawyer and file.
The main reason I want to tell him before I go file is so I can confirm some things with him first. Such as: 1)I assume he would like me to serve him in person rather than having him served at work.
2)Give him the heads-up that he will be paying half (if not all) of the retainer, so be prepared when the attorney bills him. I actually don't know if he will bill him, or just include the fees in the settlement. But based on income discrepancy, he will wind up paying at least part of the legal fees.
3)Ask him specifically what custody arrangements he wants. I offered him 50/50, I want him to have 50/50. But he thinks he isn't capable. So to make it simpler I would prefer to know up front how much custody he actually wants so I can put it in the paperwork.
Anyway the more we agree on ahead of time the cheaper the divorce will be.
But saying any of that will probably come across as my 'provoking' him.
I would just feel better warning him ahead of time since that is the route the pastor advised. If he blows me off, says he 'doesn't want to talk about it', whatever, then I will file and put in there the way I want things to be and he will have to just roll with it and deal...
