No, I am not trying to use the kids to guilt him into anything. That is what he thinks, too. I promise, it isn't. Last December, (18 months ago) I DID knowingly try to use the kids to guilt him. I was desperate to get him away from the ow and back to me.
But not now. This is about the kids hurting and being confused in large part, because of his actions. I just want him to let go of the denial on that one and admit it. He does occasionally text me that he knows this is 'tearing Nathan up' and that it 'kills him' that the kids are hurting. But I don't know that I believe him since he doesn't change his actions...
The whole thing just frustrates me because the kids are sharing all of this with me, but not Dan.
For example, Dan yells at Nathan a lot when Nathan is practicing karate. Actually, Nathan will whine/cry and say he doesn't want to, and his dad yells at him for whining. Then if Nathan screws around while practicing his dad yells at him again. This isn't screaming, it is more like b!tching at Nathan, if that makes sense.
Well anyway Nathan said something to me about wanting his dad back home, wanting us together, something along those lines. I said, "Honey you always tell me these things and i am glad you do, but why don't you ever tell your dad?" Not because I want to guilt trip Dan but because I want him to see what it is like to have the kids asking these things every day, for him to have to answer them instead of always me.
Anyway, Nathan replies, "I don't tell Daddy because he might get mad at me. I don't want him to yell at me."
Great! He is afraid to share his feelings with his dad b/c he doesn't want his dad mad at him. I feel like Dan should know this. But I won't tell him b/c I don't want him to think I am guilting him again...maybe I will mention it to the counselor.
