I dealt with the things XH asked me to do and informed him accordingly. I also wrote that something happened and I regret not doing what I intended to do. I told him that I don't want that to happen to us. He then asked what happened and that I should give him some time, maybe we can be friends one day. But for now he is too bitter about the way I treated him. He feels that way because of the money I will get and therefore, he cannot afford to buy a car. (He had to mention that again!)
In a further mail he wrote that he thanks me for everything I did recently. However, his biggest regret was to invite me to his place. He thought he could trust me but obviously, it was not the case! – He has not stopped saying these things. I guess he still thinks I would give in and let him have the money. – I am very sad about it.
Regarding my neighbour he got mad at me when I told him that I consulted a lawyer, because he thought we could agree on something on an amicable basis. I told him that I had to find out somehow what my rights were. I also told him that I felt he was not honest with me and now that the shrubs have gone he sees all kinds of things he doesn't like. I told him that it was like this for over 25 years and just because HE changed everything it is not my fault that he doesn't like it.
The next day he phoned me and said that he was not able to sleep. I told him I could have given him some of my tranquilizers which I had to take – LOL! At least he has come down with his demands a bit because he also contacted a free legal service who told him that none of the parties would get what they wanted if we went to court. So I am thinking about his suggestions, but it all makes me very nervous.
I thought he must be in MLC or ELC (End Life Crisis) because up till now he was OK and all of a sudden he is going crazy.
Today I got a surprise. The interesting guy whom I met about a month ago and who lives at the other end of the country mailed me. To start with I couldn't remember who the guy was, but then it suddenly clicked. He is coming to my area and would like to see me. I wonder what it will be like. Somehow I had the suspicion last time that he only wanted cheap accommodation thinking he could stay with me.
Thank you for checking in on me. Well, at the moment I am not depressed anymore.
I have not been on the board for a while. I was quite busy going out and also getting things sorted out with my silly neighbour. I told him that life is too short to argue about small things like weeding and how the garden looks, and that it is not good for his health. To my surprise he told me that I was right in this point! But we have not yet come to an agreement.
On the week-end I went to an opening of a museum extension with a girlfriend. It was very nice and in the evening I was invited to dinner by her and her boyfriend. We were lucky that we book a table indoors since later on we had a horrific storm and when I drove them home a branch of one of their trees broke off.
On Monday evening I met the interesting guy and we also spent Tuesday together. The weather was also pleasant and we went for long walks. I guess I was right – I think he is mainly looking for an affair and free accommodation. It turned out that he has been married for about ten years for the second time and has adult children. He was not very happy that I didn't want to be anything else but a friend. I quite like him because he has had a very interesting life and therefore can talk about things from all over the world. He also has a good sense of humour but otherwise he is not my type at all. He asked me to continue to stay in e-mail contact although he doesn't have time to reply. But he would like to have friends all over the world and finds it interesting to communicate that way.
XH is still trying to manipulate me. So I am going dark again. I mentioned something about "after my death" and he wrote back that I shouldn't talk of my death; it is not something he can think about. In any case he hopes that I will outlive him 20 years! – Obviously, he is still stuck in the old track.
We have had thunder storms almost every evening but the nature needed the rain badly. I just don't like driving in the rain at night. Tomorrow I will go to some live music and I am planning something for the week-end. I am still answering some dating ads but so far I didn't get to know anybody nice yet. I also tried some paid dating sites since Vali thought it was a huge difference between free and paid ones. Well, I found the sites I tried not user friendly and a waste of time so I cancelled them again.
True, You sound like you are having a lot of adventures! I'm very happy to see you are getting out and about. Well, you had that guy pegged, i.e., affair and free accommodations. I'm glad you set him straight!
Now, about the neighbor, use your db skills on him. He'll come around because I know you mean well and are thinking very logically about the entire weed/garden situation.
True, you really need to write a book about your many adventures. It would enjoyable reading.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Nice to hear from you. I will collect some more "adventures" so that maybe one day I can write them down. However, I know from a friend how difficult it is to get published as a non famous person. But I will try to do my best and you will certainly get a free and signed copy by the author - LOL.
True, I always look for your thread to see how things are going. Your adventures always bring a smile to my face. I'm very happy to see you venturing forth and trying new things. Do not let anything get you down. You deserve all of the happiness that life has to offer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for your compliment. When I came to this forum I was always happy to see you posting to me. You always gave me good advice and it made me calm down such a lot. At least now I can give you something back and I am happy that I can make you smile.
My GF's are always eager to find out about my adventures as well. One of them is almost in the same sitch as I am and she just told me yesterday that at least she and I have something to laugh about.
Take care.
PS: I will try to db my neighbour. - It was funny today, I said that I agree with him and think it is better to get rid of something and suddenly he thinks that it is better to leave it! Before, he insisted that I remove it.
True, See, dbing does work! Just remember to pull the db out of the bag every time your neighbor gives you the blues! Sometimes people argue for the sake of arguing and wanting to get one over on you. I think you handled him quite well.
You are doing well! Enjoy your many activities and do not allow your xh to interfere in your plans and enjoyment.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for your compliment. I have been doing quite well lately and am even happy on some days. The weather has been super lately and we are on talking terms with my neighbour again. I take it one day at the time with him and will see what happens. I have not decided yet what I will do in my garden but am looking for ideas and getting in some offers.
I will update some other time as I am out and about with my GFs quite often discovering new places to go to. I also did some sunbathing.
Last week I talked to XMIL and had an interesting convo. I have not contacted XH anymore and have not heard from him either (probably he will write now I wrote this - LOL).
I called XMIL last week to thank her for her Easter wishes. She told me that XH finally wrote to her some time ago and that she knew now where he was. He wrote to her that he cannot forget what happened to him when he was a child and that he still has a recurring dream about it.
She said she is quite angry with him and wrote him a letter saying that she told him many times that she was sorry about what happened and that she thought she was doing the right thing at the time. Everybody else did the same with their kids. He accused her often before and she has taken enough of the guilt and burden. He needs to get over it and therefore seek help by a professional or get some information on the Internet. She told him to come home because she needed him.
I told her that XH is angry with me because of some of the divorce settlement and she told me he wrote about it to her. I should not give in, and what he said to me was emotional blackmail. – I was so surprised that she took my side! – Furthermore, she said that I will always be her daughter-in-law no matter what. She has known me since I was a young girl and that the divorce is only a piece of paper and would not change anything.
On another note, the "interesting guy" I met last week phoned me to say that he enjoyed our time together and that we will stay in touch. I agreed. I found that he sounded very strange, as if he was emotional, but it could have been a bad line since he called my mobile phone.
As I said before, I have had quite a good time lately. I went to some live music performance and found a place for dancing. I hope to go to the next live music performance on Thursday and maybe dancing at the newly found place on Friday or Saturday.
One guy whose ad I answered wrote back and asked me to phone him. He told me that he started taking sailing lessons and that he and his friend had a dinghy with two masts – LOL. So I said that it must be a strange dinghy as I have never seen one with two masts. The second one must be a tooth pick – LOL. The whole thing sounded very suspicious and I cut the conversation short.
The dating site you have to pay for which I joined as a trial was on a TV programme similar to "Watchdog" recently. They were accused of not having all the matches and contacts they claim to have and of being a cheat. I didn't like the site either and stopped shortly after registering.
