Ha ha. Talking to strangers 'cause your marriage sucks. That made me laugh Mike.
Mike is right. Learn to be you. Easier said than done of course, but still.... It is the right advice I think.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Ha ha. Talking to strangers 'cause your marriage sucks. That made me laugh Mike.
made me laugh too..but it's the truth...we come on here and don't know anybody and spill out guts about one of the most personal things you could ever talk about.....a spouse, sex, OP, OW's...to total stangers..all because for the most part both people stopped making the marraige awesome and made it suck...
routine is boring
comfortable is boring
ya gotta have some balance...find the balance then you found the secret IMO to a long happy M
Tennis sounds great! I too exercise a lot nowadays. I have lost about 55lbs since early 2007. Feel so much better because of it! It really does serve so many purposes, you feel energized, more positive AND you lose weight! I know it has made ME a better person, whether it helps my M remains to be seen.
Happy to report though. No riff raff with over 40 of them here overnight!
holy cow! you have a house big enough to put them all in without piling them on top of each other! lol I hope you didn't feed them all!
you know, just start putting music on, dancing around the house, just do uplifting things and put that smile on, and when you do something long enough, it starts to become a habit, and then becomes character, whether it is good or bad.
I need to take my own advice.
thanks MB for understanding the away/here/away/here/away...
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Sorry, gang... will update later tonight or tomorrow night. This three job thing is going to sink me! H is home in a few, and I'm showered, looking cute, dinner ready, and soccer was canceled! Yahoo!
PS - I did two things today... detaching... took my H picture off of my phone background, and put a beach, AND took his picture off of my computer background, and put a beach. They've been there for a few years. If he asks about it... "I felt like a change of scenery. I need a mental vacation, so the beach it is!"
PSS - Haven't called him today. He called me. Same yesterday, and hung up first, but made sure he had a positive interchange.
Last edited by mindblank; 05/13/0909:37 PM.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Happy Mother's Day! (Did I tell you that already?!)
THE HOUSE.... funny you should mention it... The H claims he fell out of love w/me because of this house (and what it represented in our M, him giving in to me, even when he was uncomfortable). We bought it on foreclosure - on the river, 9000+ sq feet, built in 1911 by one of Frank Lloyd Wright's original partners in his architecture firm. We restored everything we could in it (6 fireplaces, ALL of the original wood floors, original tile floors, ALL woodwork, etc...), and gave it a kick a$$ kitchen, master bath, and updated the pub. It has a LOT of room! BUT, it was a steal! H wanted to re-do it, then turn it around and sell it. I fell in love w/it, and won the fight, but lost the battle (obviously!).
More to come, but H just got in... I'll give you the GOOD PART OF THE STORY in a bit...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
SO... we moved in when it was done (a little too early, as the finishing touches were a HEADACHE to be around). My H general contracted the whole thing (2 1/2 year process), and lived the stress daily. He hasn't really enjoyed it since. He shows it to people, and gives them a tour of our improvements (we get asked all the time, fund raising events want to have stuff here, etc.., and he sounds very proud, but personally it makes him miserable). He thinks it is too much.
FUNNY, now that we're in it, I AGREE! Prior to buying it we had a lake house in WI that he wanted to go to quite frequently (great memories)! As the kids got older, D17 didn't want to go away from her friends as much, the boys had their stuff, etc... and this seemed like a great compromise (my H LOVES water sports). He even bought a brand new, awesome wakeboard/tower boat for the river, put a new pier in, etc... However, he just never loved it... He still doesn't call it home much... Calls it by the street name because we had two homes for so long we differentiated that way...
NOW, the GOOD PART....
We have someone that has approached us, and is considering buying it from us. We'd make about a 60% profit. NO ONE DOES that in these times. H thought I'd freak when he mentioned it to me. I didn't. I did the opposite, and told him we would be crazy not to consider it. He lights up when we discuss it.
So, he's been eyeballing some options out there for us, that are still in the expensive range for our area. I haven't spoken up yet, because, frankly, I've learned that I could care less where we live. If I had a choice, I'd live in the NORMAL neighborhood behind the kids school's, since I'm there and back a million times a week! The homes are half the price of what he's looking at.
I think I"ll wait to tell him this until the potential buyer gets a little more serious. (Get this, it's a single mom, finalizing a D settlement... Gee, what a settlement!)
OK, that's all... wanted to explain to someone since I don't think I've ever really said it out loud to anyone.
**** Practicing my whistling since my singing and dancing would make someone vomit!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
My friend needed a fourth, and didn't know I could play... was thrilled to hear I would join them. I start in two weeks. I'm going to the driving range during the boys' soccer training sessions starting next week. I need to get my swing back!
NOW, when am I supposed to fit this all in?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
