dear blue rain, thank you so much for your post; you articulated so much of what I feel so clearly....... hope is a difficult thing to qualify; I have always been an optimistic person and have, to quote Emily Dickinson (the focus of my PHD), "to dwell in possibility". I have felt it to be a crucial aspect of my life in so many different ways. I have fought so hard for this marriage. there have been lots of times over the last five years that I have felt disillusioned and lonely, times that I have truly questioned whether my H is indeed the right man for me. But its funny, something has always made me hang in there at the end of the day; made me honour my vow and remain faithful. Never did I truly realise how much my M has meant to me until he left. that said his behaviour has been truly extraordinary. He has lied, cheated, betrayed. As for the OW, the fact that she knows both myself and our D makes it even sicker.
the best revenge for a woman who steals another womans H is to let her have him
Thats a great line!!!!!!! I would love to get to the place where I believed that! When I remind myself of the person that I married I feel real and utter grief but when I bring myself into the here and now and I look at reality I believe that my H and the OW are perfect for each other.
I have to see my H in court tomorrow and I am completely traumatised by the slurry that he will hurl at me in his defense: that I am a scorned/spurned woman that I am bitter, vicious and without shame hat I am a neglectful and abusive mother taht I am mentally unstable/unhinged that I am a threat to our D that I am suicidal
(these are all direct statements by my H about me to other people)
I am feeling intimidated by all of this legal wrangle.I never wanted my marriage to end, I have fought hard but he is without reason or care; just bull dozing through our lives in an attempt to reach this perceived nirvana?
