Ahh.. yes I did buy one of those.. but I'm a bluff old traditionalist and had to go back to the good old glass bottle! (man those things are unbreakable!! Have you ever dropped one out of the kitchen cupboard and bounced it off all the sideboards, the sink and then the floor?? I have, several times. I think they are made out of kryptonite).

The secret of the squeezy I found was.... (drum roll please)... you squeeze lightly whilst whizzing the thing around the toast real fast!? Thereby depositing a thin snot like trail of delicious marmite which you can then spread about.

So.. Lisa, you kinda side stepped what I was saying (you minx, you are cleverer than a man with three heads so you know you did)... You are proceeding with D etc yet you said..

"Being unavailable to H or him feeling like he's losing me wouldn't work- I've tried that, and it just cements his feelings of guilt and losing me being exactly what he deserves..."

...um, but he is losing you, your getting D? And I dont remember you trying it ever really consistently. There was the odd time you wouldnt return an email for a couple of days, or turned down a coffee invite but would end up accepting lunch a few days later.

I'm talking seriously letting go, serously NOT holding his hand, not replying to a message.. make him phone you to see if you are dead or alive or something. If you say you have already been honest several times about wanting to sort it out and not D, if he dumps the aub.. and that didnt work and now you have started D proceedings and that hasnt worked.. well, what do you have to lose?

Unless you are trying to be patient and consistent and still being "good old Lisa" and hoping he will be one of those 11th hour turnarounds we hear about and halt the D????

xxxx
PS: I once instructed a builder because he was a HOT ADONIS!!! He flirted like mad with me all day and I was very flattered when he phoned me one night drunk and invited me to join him.. he was mortally embarressed the next day though when he arrived for work (to start digging my drain lower for the toilet).. but then I was mortally embarressed when they lifted the manhole and although I had flushed.. it had only got as far as the bit of pipe they were now staring down into. Not one of my finest moments.