AFWAW, This is a cycle that you will go through multiple times. If she wants to come home and I was you I would let her with several conditions (and I would only do this because of your daughter, I know it hurts you but reality is you will get over this and with your experience you have gained I guarantee you you will find a better wife later but your daughter only has one mother and unfortunately right now she is not going to win any awards) and for the record she will do the same thing again. I would not be surprised if she has dinner plans with OM tonight.
Conditions for return...immediate, and I mean immediate, no contact with any of the four OM, you are to be given the names, and if she works with them she is to go ask to be moved somewhere else, mandatory counseling both joint and individual. Transparancy in anything you need to feel comfortable such as email passwords, cell phone records, letting you know where she is at and what time she will return, post-nup to settle issues that would come up in the divorce (put the same limitations on yourself if she balks - ie, if you have an affair and move to an apartment and shack up with 4 women she gets custody and the house) This is to get you thinking and if/when you decide to get back together we can ask for advice on this board.
Again, calm down...she is not going to be begging to come home right now unless it is to benefit her affair. She has already told you she will not stop seeing him and could not even tell you she would not try and find someone else in Oct. The only thing you have control of right now is yourself...if she were to want to go see the chaplin and confess and ask for forgiveness I might start to believe her...just stay calm and observe. No matter what happens keep your appointment with the lawyer.
