Yeh I find it hard to not ask questions about her. I don't even know what the situation is for sure, if they are seeing each other or not. I feel like I need to know and want to ask but haven't said anything this week. It would be nice to know what I'm dealing with but I have no way to know without asking. I don't know if I should keep it friendly with H or just not talk to him.
My advice on this. Don't ask anything. I stupidly asked a lot of questions and actually got answers. Then I went on to ask for intimate details and also got some answers. Now I can not turn the pictures off in my head. As curious as you are to know, you really don't want to. It will cause you Sooooo much more pain to have actual facts. There is always the chance that what is happening isn't as bad as what you imagine but even so H will most likely not tell the truth anyway. So don't ask. Save yourself the heartache.
Originally Posted By: judy
What makes you an utterly fantastic person that any man would be proud to claim as his wife? Remind yourself of your worth. We are spending too much time focusing on them and what we may lose. What do you have? What makes you great? What do you want that will make you better? As another DBuster eloquently put it "Do Work". On yourself because you can't work on anyone else.
Don't try to hold on too tightly to your R. I am living by Let Go and Let God. I find that when I hold on tightly I am trying to control the sitch and H but I really can't. I am just deluding myself and making us miserable in the process. Is this how it is for you? Letting go helps me to breathe easier and analyse things without a run of emotions. It allows me to detach.
Wow is that good advice. It is actually just what I needed to hear today. We can only work on our half. When we focus on them we are stuck on their half that we can't change.
Originally Posted By: hopeful_cb
One thing I know I need to do more work on is my listening and communication. I had been doing better but noticed last week that I was interrupting and not really listening. So that is one goal.
I have this same problem. I am trying to do it with WAS but also with everyone in my life. I am trying to stop talking and only say something when what I have to say is really important to the discussion. I find that half of what I say was just fluff and not really necessary. lol
Have you looked on Meetup.com? For me one problem was only having married/busy friends so I found some groups that I joined and have gone to a few meetings. I have found things I could do a couple days/nights a week if I have time. It was hard to go alone at first but then I got to know people and it is better. For
Me-38 W-44 D8 & D6 together '95, Wed '97, Bomb 11/18/08 Still in same house
