SSW struggling with GAL

[Kettricken]

I wasn't disagreeing with any specific advice per se, more the general air of "He's trying to back you off! Don't let him!!" I don't even disagree with that, necessarily. Without being inside his head, it's hard to say. His statement that I quoted above just reminded me of my experience, in which my husband had a legitimate beef with my attitude, and I wanted to chip in my 2 cents about the dangers of *over*pushing.

SO often these situations get resolved in a "two steps forward, one step back" fashion, and that's ok, IF the starved spouse can find ways to endure it.

I dunno about the Big Talk. It's important to be *perfectly* clear about the nature of the problem and stand firm for the legitimacy of your desires .... but it makes the stakes awfully high, and can seem 'pressuring' all on its own. Who likes to hear, "We Need To Talk?"

OTOH, maybe that's what it takes to be taken seriously. It really depends on the personalities involved, and the data here is insufficient, from my POV.