AFWAW, Great job...you are doing well and I can tell you are getting some of your own mojo going...don't worry about the low points, you are going to have them...accept it and use it to focus your thoughts on what you need to do. If you can now would be a good time for you to take a break from all of this. If you have some home improvement projects it would really help your mental well-being to concentrate on something else...garage storage? Just an idea...LuckyGirl is correct and eventually this will consume you if you do not have balance in your life. Take a couple of days leave and do something just for yourself. Is your pool ready for summer?
As far as the Guard your wife will be allowed to transfer if this is just an investigation and she is not formally charged and court-martialed...and she will not unless she adds other charges as she goes on with her performance. Unfortunately you cannot "punish" attitude nor change it...she will have to do that on her own. Again, I have to wonder what is she thinking? She is less than 5 yrs to retire and get a monthly check of about $2K for the rest of her life and she is thinking about the Guard and will not get a retirement check until 57 (earliest,and with penalities)...something is not right and she is not making rational decisions...I say this because her nature should be to take care of her daughter and she is not doing the things you would call "motherly". Are you comfortable she is not abusing drugs or alcohol? I am thinking out loud...just unusual for what sounds like a great SNCO on track for more promotions to have this happen so quickly...how long were you deployed? if this happened on a 4 or 6 month deployment I am shocked on how fast she changed...anyway, something to talk to a counseler about.
Protect your self legally...just because you file doesn't mean your marriage is over but it does give you an advantage. I hope you have proof soon...this will help you alot.
Your mind is going to play head games with you...Lucky has given you a ton of ideas. Don't forget your daughter...even if she appears normal she is suffering...stay involved with her life, contact her teachers and ask that they tell you if she is sad, or any unusual changes in her performance.
Make sure your W knows that under no circumstance is any of her four adultry partners are allowed around your daughter. She crossed the "parent-child" relationship line when she talked to your daughter about her adultry buddy being a boyfriend and cute.
Any word from your SS? Your family? Stay in touch with friends. How did your PT test go? Keep working on it and now is not to early to read your PDG for 10 minutes a day to get ready for your next stripe. Put it in your bathroom...I had an old CMSgt in the 80's who told me that was the only time he could study as the kids and wife would never give him any quiet time...it worked.
