Hmmm... It does sound like she is still hanging onto the fantasy rather than seeing you and the M for what it is and having faith that she can have what she wants.
I also think that she is staying faithful to the OM, even if she isn't involved with him anymore, and that is why she isn't ML with you or why your sexually charged compliments don't feel right. She has internally rejected you as *her* man.
You are doing all the right things with GALing and working on yourself. Passionate Marriage should help too.
