If you wife is one who responds well to a manly, direct, dominant approach, then staying in that #3 - $4 territory you mentioned is a good thing for you. My wife is the same way: if I am wishy-washy in my approach, if I leave too much 'optional' for her, then it turns her off. I have to generally be direct, demanding, and passionate to turn her on. At the same time, she does keep ultimate veto power with regard to her own body with a specific 'initiation' (this -really- means no!) safe word, which I absolutely respect.
-IF- this is what works for your wife then you can simply text her: "I'll be home early at 2 PM. Be in our bed, naked, and ready for me." I've done that before, and it's been a fun game for both of us. IF my wife hasn't complied, I don't get mad, I grab her by the wrist and take her upstairs anyway to "punish" her and "have my way" anyway. You have to treat it as play, and a game, especially if this approach is all new to the both of you.
Another option is to send nothing. Just walk quietly in the door early from work, scoop her up, and ravish her. Be silently demanding and passionate. Sweep her off her feet.
No matter what you do, do it with CONFIDENCE and SELF-ASSURANCE. No faultering permitted. Be The man and make her feel like a woman.
-- B.
Me 50, W 45, M for 26 yrs S25, D23, S13, S10 20+ year SSM; recovery began Oct 2007
