Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing 3

[Thinker]

What my W says in our C sessions MAY explain some of it. She is holding on very strongly to the WAW ideas - "A M is either right or it is not, you can't force it." "We are just not right for each other. It's not your fault, I'm mad at myself for letting it go on" "I am afraid of spending my life in a M where we just aren't in love, but I am equally afraid of D"

I think her Parents never had a great marriage - were never really friends, etc. Her parents were very religious and would never have considered D as an option, but I think she saw them suffer through for many many years and then get old (and die).

I never never betrayed her in any meaningful way (No A's, provided well, etc) but was definitely less mature, more focused on myself and my career, and rather clueless about what she needed. I now can see how she would have felt unloved during much of our M.

So I can see that it could be what she says it is - anger at herself and fear of the future.

I can also see that it could be her in some way "remaining faithful" to her fantasy life with OM...

I agree with you completely on "One Day at a Time"