I'm struggling. Struggling not just to bash your wife, but suddenly I'm actually smiling about the neighbor. Imagine him even thinking he won something. Can you believe that he might honestly think that he got something worth keeping? He got the messed up woman that used to be someone who was your wife (but is now who knows what) and you got the kids. I am so happy for you that you got custody of the kids. It's so great!
I think it would be too weird for your kids to go over to the neighbor's house for visitation...I would see whether you can get it in the decree that visitation cannot occur over there. Get the counselor to testify how warped and harmful it is to the kids. Make sure that you don't forget to make her pay child support. She has a financial obligation to the raising of the kids.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I just wanted to come by your thread and say that I think it's great that you're reaching out to some folks lately. I think you have a TON of empathy, wisdom and experience that you can offer others after living thru what you have with such "strength and honor." Even just the occasional "Hey, I've been there -- hang in there" encouragement is often all someone needs when no one is answering them.
I hope you'll keep it up, and "pay it forward" as Coach, Bill and others have done for you. I think you have a lot to offer, and that you have a gift in this area.
Puppy
Puppy - Thanks so much for that. That's exactly how I felt - like I wanted to pay it forward. You all have been such a tremendous help to me personally. I know how much you guys got me through and I keep reading all these stories and think about those terrible times. If I can help anyone just once, that would be awesome. When I read my old threads I see the darkest moments of my life. While the outcome wasn't what I wanted - I'm going to be okay. Wouldn't be able to say that if I didn't come to DB. This is an unbelievable place.
Strength and Honor.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
I'm struggling. Struggling not just to bash your wife, but suddenly I'm actually smiling about the neighbor. Imagine him even thinking he won something. Can you believe that he might honestly think that he got something worth keeping? He got the messed up woman that used to be someone who was your wife (but is now who knows what) and you got the kids. I am so happy for you that you got custody of the kids. It's so great!
I think it would be too weird for your kids to go over to the neighbor's house for visitation...I would see whether you can get it in the decree that visitation cannot occur over there. Get the counselor to testify how warped and harmful it is to the kids. Make sure that you don't forget to make her pay child support. She has a financial obligation to the raising of the kids.
Hey Phoenix!! Great to hear from you! Thanks for the good wishes. Like you told me a long time ago - I'm going to be ok.
The neighbor is not allowed in the kid's presence. And the kid's would never go to his house. It's not an issue. I'm finally looking into moving. I have to wait two weeks for some papers to go through the courts and then as long as STBXW agrees, then I cna put the house up. And since all she wants is money now - that won't be an issue.
The child support will be coming up in the next month. I don't even care - let her do her thing at this point. She is losing everything that ever really mattered. She just doesn't know it yet.
Thanks for all your help and support.
Strength and Honor.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
David Cunningham: "It's the other guys problem now".
Strength....and.......honor.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Update - Just wanted to keep in touch with everyone.
I actually started dating someone. Yup Mules has taken the plunge. After 4 dates I felt like I was getting very close to her and then ran like the wind. Was just moving too fast for me. We connected pretty quickly in a way I haven't felt for quite some time (yes Greek her eyesight is just fine!) I felt overwhelmed between the boys, work, home, coaching...etc. It also felt surreal. So I bailed. Here's the thing - she followed. Understood my mind set and has agreed to take it on my terms for a while. She's a great person. It's very strange for me to be communicating with someone who actually cares about what's going on in my life and listens and asks me about things. I realized I haven't had that in ages.
The thing is I am keeping it from the boys for now. And that has been hard on me. I don't want any secrets between us and am the worst liar you have ever seen. If I cant look S15 in the face and tell him something then I struggle. Feel like he sees right through me. So I made an appointment to see the therapist on Friday to see how to handle. The boys are very fragile right now and I don't want to cause any more stress in their lives. I am prepared to put any R's aside for a while if necessary. We'll see.
I would tell more about STBXW but that would change the tone of this post. She continues to be neglectful and nuts. Her family has reconnected with me and have been a tremendous help to me at the house and with the kids.
In another bizarre twist, the neighbor's W keeps texting me asking me to come over her new place for dinner. You can't make this stuff up! I can't even reply to her, can't bring myself to do it.
Next step for me is to sell the house the minute I can legally. I'm starting to feel stronger and stronger every day.
My Dad was right - Tough times don't last, tough people do.
I hope you are all well.
Puppy - I heard a rumor you are in the alt uni - we HAVE to connect there!!
Strength and Honor!
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
In another bizarre twist, the neighbor's W keeps texting me asking me to come over her new place for dinner. You can't make this stuff up! I can't even reply to her, can't bring myself to do it.
"Bizarre twist" has been the story of your life lately! Look, if you answer those text messages, you WILL be on the Jerry Springer Show!
Cheering madly for you, Punk! We're proud to know ya... Cheers ~~~
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
In another bizarre twist, the neighbor's W keeps texting me asking me to come over her new place for dinner. You can't make this stuff up! I can't even reply to her, can't bring myself to do it.
"Bizarre twist" has been the story of your life lately! Look, if you answer those text messages, you WILL be on the Jerry Springer Show!
Cheering madly for you, Punk! We're proud to know ya... Cheers ~~~
Thx Greek! You and Coach are very special to the Mules family, you guys know that. LOL- I think I belong on the Springer Show. Believe me when I tell you, there is no way on God's Earth that I would ever be involved with anyone tied to that situation. The only reason I haven't replied is that I don't know how to politely put what I really want to say. Strength and Honor.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Stupid statement of the year...STAY AWAY FROM THE NEIGHBOR'S WIFE.
Slow down mules. Your innards know the right course right now. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
