This sitch baffles me, I must be honest. I want to say that I vibe that she is hiding something (like an EA.) Perhaps she simply has a good reason (does she?) for not trusting you. It sounds like she felt that you emotionally abandoned her during her crises with her parents. But, why wouldn't she be able to discuss it? It's confusing to me.
I think it's good that you stopped snooping and spying. You don't need all of that nonsense and madness. If she is up to something, it will become apparent in due time. Quicker if you continue therapy, which is why my radar went off when you mentioned she wants a break from it. Though, of course you should grant her whatever break she needs and give her breathing room to go through her journey and self-exploration.
