Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing 3

[Thinker]

Thinker,

Sorry, I don't remember. Is her EA totally over? Why is she so emotional and afraid?

Lucky

You know, I don't really know the answer to that one.

She say's the EA is over.

I have no proof that it is not. She has provided transparency (email accounts passwords, etc). The few times I have checked, there is no evidence of anything.

She is acting differently than she was then. For example, during the EA she was very regularly working out early mornings (when OM worked out at gym). This was strange because she is not a morning person. Now she is sleeping in again.

but, it is really hard to prove that nothing is going on - i.e. she could be still emailing him and just very carefully deleting the evidence.

I am also carefully avoiding "spying" on her right now - not for her benefit, but for mine. It was making me completely codependent and crazy and I need to be able to focus on myself. So now when I start worrying about the EA, I take my mind off of it, "leave it up to God", and go do a GAL activity.

I am really not sure why she is so emotional and afraid. It could be the EA. It is more likely the sitch with her Mom. Our R started going down hill 4 years ago when my W's Dad died. She was never really able to open up to me about that ("You just can't understand") and then felt that I was not supportive. Now her Mom has cancer that has metastasized. I can see that it is eating her.

She has closed off intimacy with me in general for some time. She does not want to talk to me about the bad (her Mom) or the good (her dreams for her new business). She won't kiss me (except for returning a short peck if I initiate), she won't hold hands. Hugs and snuggling go well, but I have to initiate.