d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

Well I'm not quite sure what to do now? Yesterday (may 12) I had to go to my parent education class (4 hours) mandatory for the divorce. H was sitting on otherside of the room (30 people there)
The class was so interesting, the counselor even talked about our past childhood memories and how it effects our relationships today. I could tell my H got very uncomfortable with that.

During our marriage, I always knew he had childhood issues but never wanted to talk to me about them. I think that was part of his depression. But I always pushed him to talk to me about them. I pushed him right out the door !!!!

I had asked him what he was going to do after the meeting and he said he had to go to the courthouse to finish filing his papers for the divorce.

I cried almost all night after my D-4 went to bed. My H texted me earlier and asked if he could come over to put her to bed or did I want to be alone. I told him she will be fine, I want to be alone. He texted back, I can respect that. ARGH !!! Darn right he will respect that.

Do I get back reading and doing my 180's and let him come play with her and help put her to bed or do I tell him no ! My problem I like him there (even when he stays after she goes to bed) but it is killing me to know the divorce is end of June.

What should I do !!! I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack !!