Man Overboard

[StrgMarvelousWmn]

Wow.. I havent seen any hostility on this thread? Quite the opposite, I see a bunch of people committed to helping SMW to handle the sitch with her H and win him back.. and how lucky and blessed she is that perfect strangers feel willing and want to do that? I for one feel humbled, blessed and deeply thankful for all the help and advice I have received over the past year+!

As do I, and I have thanked those who have taken the time, both here and via phone, to support and encourage me.

SMW I was a bit confused when you said this though...

Perhaps I should stop posting here, as obviously my Christian principles are not gelling with the DB principles.

.. your beliefs have nothing to do with posting here. I think what I and maybe Mike (and anyone else? not sure) were trying to say is, you need to perhaps step back a little from your H..let go a little (and let God, as the saying goes), he needs to see the light for himself.. in DBing terms, he needs to do this, its his journey, its going to take time and he hasnt had his "road to damascus" moment yet?

The kids and I are moving forward in life. DH is welcome to join us at any time--I will never push him out of our lives completely. right now, I am trying to give him enough room to see what he is walking away from--four kids who adore him and a wife who loves him unconditionally.

I admire your unhsakeable faith, but I think you need to separate that from outcomes, as M from Tenessee was explaining. And I agree with you, he needs to get to a point that he lets go of ow before he can consider coming home.

My faith can and does affect the outcome, as the Lord is faithful to his promises. There are a couple of success stories that popped up this weekend that prove that.

So I still think you need to focus on creating "cognitive dissonance" in him (google it! GFI told me about it).. putting doubts in his mind. Do 180s, be funny, be his friend, dont guilt him or remind him about ow, dont mention her in fact and lastly.. have you got, or had a DB coach? I used Jody and she was amazingly helpful.

I have looked up cognitive dissonance and it does apply in my situation. I AM the better option and I think he feels the confusion. His actions have been odd the past few days. I cannot honestly afford a DB coach. I am working on saving for a session--at this rate, I might be able to get one in about a month.

In astrological terms..your H is 35 like my bf and I assume he is having some major Pluto transit. Pluto transits are hellish..Pluto is Lord of the underworld and when a Pluto transit hits you, you are said to be dragged to the depths of hell. That might fit with yuor Christian beliefs neatly though!

But the only way out of hell is to keep walking. Pluto transits strip you bare of all the things you built up around you (money, possessions, family, partners and what you 'value') to your core, to make you face yourself. Only then you find out what you truly value and is of value. And Pluto transits take a LOOOOONG time to play at.. a few years at least (mine spanned 5).

xxx

I don't understand the Pluto transits and how that affects things. DH is 35, will be 36 in August. Maybe you could explain this a little more? How do you determine when a transit begins to affect your life and when it wanes?


Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW