Please don't sabotage yourself by trying to avoid the legal process that it will take to protect your D. Your D is worth more than anything in the world.
Matters of free will and real love are not meant to be handled strategically. But divorce and custody and settlement are.
That's exactly what I meant when I said strategic planning also. Dont let your feelings (fear or revenge or anything like that) fog your judgement. K
In my humble opinion, I don't think that she should have the "out" of coming home at this point. Not right now. If she took that out, it would NOT be what she really wants and I GUARANTEE it would be temporary at best. Let her come back later on if she really wants to... not because you are making that the only attractive option from a practical standpoint.
J - I agree about you holding on to the idea of her "coming home". Why on earth would you want her to "come home". Unless you have some MIB mind erasing device or a time machine at home what makes you think anything will change. At some point, like me and a lot of other people on this board you will realize that this D was a blessing. I know you think you love her, but like me I'm guessing you are "in love" with who you thought she was or hoped she was. I could never do the things that she has done to you and your daughter and Im guessing based on what Ive read either could you. Admit it! You are different. That is a GOOD thing. We dont hurt the people we so-called LOVE like that. You are now able to move on with your life and find someone that will truly know how to LOVE and RESPECT you. Life is too short to be with someone that doesnt WANT or DESERVE your moral and ethical values. Let her go. She needs to go find herself. Unfortunately, when the day comes when she realizes what she gave up it will probably too late. Same old story you've heard hundred times. Sad but true.
I worry so much about you, and sometimes I have flashes of fear about how you are coping. I don't want to hurt your ego and you don't have to respond to this. I just have a strange intuition about desperate measures with you. I really, really am worried about a layer of feelings that you may have not shared here.
I PRAY that you get some counseling for yourself. I'm begging you. PLEASE!!!
I worry so much about you, and sometimes I have flashes of fear about how you are coping. I don't want to hurt your ego and you don't have to respond to this. I just have a strange intuition about desperate measures with you. I really, really am worried about a layer of feelings that you may have not shared here.
I PRAY that you get some counseling for yourself. I'm begging you. PLEASE!!!
OK... The hysterical woman is leaving the room.
Lucky
I agree LG. I feel the same way which is kinda where my last post came from. I went through hell with my whole D and know what a horrible blow to my ego and self-esteem it was. To have this person that you thought was the one person on this planet you could trust betray you is mind-numbing. For a long time I let my ex and what she did define me. It's true that you sometimes even start believing what they tell you. But eventually you realize that it is their problem and that you have stood for what you believe and in the end that is all that matters. You can NOT let this experience and this person DEFINE you JOHN. Look at this experience as a test of your WILL by GOD. You have passed with flying colors. When faced with adversity you stood true and can now know how you react when "under fire". Good on you mate!!! Hold your head high. For you are a father, son, soldier and a WARRIOR!!!
YOU unlike your WAW and the a$$ that is using her actually deserve to wear that uniform.
GOD BLESS THE USA AND THE WARRIORS THAT DEFEND IT EVERYDAY!!!
Above all, your D needs every bit of you to be "okay." The underlying stuff that makes you think that there is no one else out there or that makes you desperate for her to come back is not healthy.
You need to GAL now. Be around people who make you laugh. Just be around people and get out of your head.
PMA is right: You are special because of all that you've done for your family and for your country. Please see that and have faith that life will ultimately take care of you if you stop trying to control it.
Please don't sabotage yourself by trying to avoid the legal process that it will take to protect your D. Your D is worth more than anything in the world.
I'm not trying to. I am trying to see if the W will give me everything I ask for. If not, then the lawyer route...
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In my humble opinion, I don't think that she should have the "out" of coming home at this point. Not right now.
I gave her the option of breaking it off w/ the OM and staying in the apartment and coming over to the house every night--she refused! I really, really would like this to work out as you can already tell.
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Now I'm not sure that you are REALLY there.
You may be right but I'm damn close. All I have to do is say the magic words and my commander is chomping at the bit for me to do so. Matter of fact he came out and paced me on my PT test this morning--what a good guy. Just when I thought I couldn't have any more respect for him, he surprises me again.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
I worry so much about you, and sometimes I have flashes of fear about how you are coping.
God Bless you lady. I am not coping as well as I'd like. My wife told me about how she got sick physically the week OM was gone and I told her now you know how I've felt for 3 months.
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I don't want to hurt your ego and you don't have to respond to this. I just have a strange intuition about desperate measures with you. I really, really am worried about a layer of feelings that you may have not shared here.
I honestly don't have much of an ego left at this point. I have done anything desperate at this point. I just love my wife and want the opportunity to show her. Sadly, I don't think it's going to happen.
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I PRAY that you get some counseling for yourself. I'm begging you. PLEASE!!!
Already in counseling. Thanks
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
Have you started thinking about your life beyond this mess? Have you started to have hope about the possibilities that lay ahead, if your W is no longer your W?
somewhat, and I am very scared of what lies ahead cause I don't have a clue about the future at this point.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
