Thanks for your imput. Just reading yesterday's posts shows you how I believe the solution is, 'whatever works for you'. Gucci, I have read very carefully what you said and I now see a path that accomodates my new relationship with my children (courtesy and respect to PositivelyMommy, JCJ, GFI2, Kev) and a way to deal with my wife.
In regard to telephone calls, texts etc I NEVER initiate anything. She calls me but it always pertains to the children or financial, and my mood tends to be as upbeat as I can without it being over the top. At this present moment my W is so focused on her new lifestyle that anything I do or say does not make one little bit of difference. I am not pursuing or looking 'needy', in actual fact she critised the fact I was relaxing in my friends garden reading a book with a glass of wine on Sunday, as though she was jealous or something. As Puppy has said before, I do not read anything into words or actions, she mentions the divorce and court papers on a regular basis. I do not rise to it, I treat it very 'matter of fact' and move on, though she is so far removed from the present and is looking 2/3 stages ahead of me - divorced, in MY home all decorated, children will be fine in a broken home, new wardrobe, new boyfriend etc etc.
I did read MWD's advice on trying to be the better person than the OP, be a better choice etc, but I just cannot see how that works. She said find out if he is a better lover, is he funny.... If you have no idea who the OP is how can you play that scenario? Also, that to me, means absolutely nothing as the WAS has just started a EA/PA and will have nothing but negativity for the LBS, that strategy to me would only work over a period of time and only if the A dies out but the LBS has continued to do the best for himself and the children.
Yesterday for instance she dropped my mail off and included our family holiday photos from last year. To me, this was very upsetting though I did not show it. Photos of us laughing and playing on the beach, in the boat, at dinner, all that now gone in 5 months. I could not believe her insensitivity, but as PositivelyMommy said I should not read anything into this, and I agree, but I just wonder whether she is thinking straight.
I bumped into one of my neighbours this morning and she noticed how much more cheerful my wife seems. I did not go into detail but for me this is quite worrying as it would now appear things are settling into place for her and she is now becoming comfortable with her situation.
I will put into action gucci's advice and continue to be the best father I can for the children, as I cannot control anything else.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
