What about us lovely LBSs who have no contact with their spouse? I can't go any darker and to be honest, wonder if me not contacting him at all will make it easier for him to forget about me or will it make him miss me and wonder what he is missing? UGH!
Pearl didn't have contact for periods of time either. She held the line. He then started to contact. She continued to hold the line. He then started to get curious and started asking to come over and "see the cats." She continued to hold the line.
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will make it easier for him to forget about me or will it make him miss me and wonder what he is missing?
Choose the latter. Leaving him alone will earn his respect, then make him curious to what is going on with you (has she let go, did she find someone else, is this what I really want, am I making a huge mistake, what if I have lost her for good. etc)
Hold the line. You can't see the gains yet, but you will. When he does contact you, hold the line. Don't act overly happy to hear from him, make some small talk, reveal nothing about your state of mind, then cut the contact short by telling him that you were "just" leaving or going out the door, or right in the middle of something. Then say "talk to you later"...
Then wait it out and continue to hold the line. He then will be even more curious. This is when they slowly begin to pry into "what is up with you". Continue to hold the line. Start going out and doing things and have the "time of your life". Go have some fun.
That is how it is done. Backslides hurt and take you back to square one. Too many backslides cause a slow death of the relationship.
