I think you are doing great. i understand your concern about your W not seeing your changes. She probably notices more than you think and that may be obvious in her softening attitude.
One suggestion i could make is, have you thought about anger management course. It sounds like you have agood understanding of what drove your W away but it would be mighty powerful to attend something like that. Your W would be impressed becasue you attended on your own and it may be informative to you regarding why you had outbursts. Anyway cant hurt and would be a good sign for W.
Maybe you could throw an extra call in now and again , or the next tiem your visiting , put feelers out and see if she would be interested in a date with you. She can only say no and then you could resume where you were.
i think you sound stable and focused. Well done you.
