Things were so bad when H came home last night! I tried to be fine and happy, but he knew that I was not- he is very perceptive and I typically cannot hide from him. He asked what was wrong and I said that I had seen my therapist and was just feeling a bit raw emotionally, but I was ok. He was immediately defensive and said that we must have talked about all the things he's doing wrong. I told him that it was not the time to talk about it, that he was tired and it had been a long day, but he really had to have it out right then. I said that for a long time, after we would talk about things, I would feel better for a while, but I wasn't feeling better now, that I am sad, nearly everyday. I said it quietly and pretty matter of factly. I told him I had found a therpaist for both of us to see, if he would. I was putting his dinner together throughout the conversation, so then I asked if he wanted sour cream. He said he was suddenly not hungry anymore and he left the room and went upstairs. He didn't speak to me again and just went to bed. I slept in the guest room. What have I done? Honestly, is it so much to ask to want to be actually loved by my husband? I guess I should be able to live with this brotherly affection, but I can't.
