Perhaps your W's cougarish activity is about chasing her sexuality. Being a cougar is a role an adult woman can play and still be sexual. It is a way of existing in which she can find authentic sexuality. It is a new role that doesn't come with the old puritanical baggage attached to being a "good wife and mother."
This is a pretty different story than your narrative that W is vain and chasing youth in vapid denial. And, it could really change how you perceive things...
