Decided to come over and check out your sitch after reading your posts to MB for a while. Then I see others in here and start to notice something: Why does it seem like a lot of us on here are is 37/38!!! Strange! Or maybe not?
Reading your sitch sounds almost like reading someone else describing mine but about a year later. I received my ILYBNILWY in 10/07. We separated in late June 08 and we are still in a S. I did not read back in your previous threads, but I did not see anything that pointed to OM being involved, so it really comes down to your W trying to find her balance, same as my W.
W coming over for dinner, W taking home leftovers, W being depressed, W being selfish for career goals (and feeling guilty about that). Man! Sounds like my W exactly! I also see a lot of my thoughts in your posts about your feelings.
I don't want to discourage you, but I'm still here and a little over 1 month shy of a full year of S. W never made our S legal, W never made steps towards a D, just wanted a "break" from continually feeling like she dissappints me by not being "in love" with me anymore. We have now seen our MC again after 9 months and W seems to realize that she has some things she needs to work through. W also seems to realize that I realized I had to make some changes and I did over the past year. W looks forward to and asks about doing things together with the family and just with me. All this to say that these types of things can take a quite a bit of time to work through. In my case, W is keeping herself overwhelmingly busy with her business, which to me (and some good friends) just comes across as trying to avoid having to work on yourself. She's slowly getting better about that though and I do feel like we are heading in the right direction. In your case, your W does seem to be giving things a lot of thought, so things might change a little quicker than in my sitch. All in all, reading this thread did give me the impression that your M is far from over. You both have had some good discussion on what you want from a R, it's the balance between independent and dependent that's off (what I feel is the problem in my M as well).
Keep going! You are in a good mindset and have a good approach!
