You would have to read his thread AK! It's awe inspiring for sure! It ranks up there with Pups, SP, Hoop, Gucci, and so on!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
Be the best you possible. Be cordial and be kind. Do not be a doormat. Your game plan is spot on! I'll be keeping an eye out for sure! Like I said she has no idea what she is in for!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
Now the question is ... can I do what I know to do and not get dragged down into the quicksand of her new reality.. vs....actual reality that the rest of us are living in.
New expression for you hurting. Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. Words to live by.
WASs say some of the darnedest things. My H actually believes at this moment in time that I am the reason that he has been miserable all of his life and that I made him want to kill himself. A very warped sense of reality for sure. I have so many letters, texts, and ims from this man telling me how I have been what keeps him out of the dark spots in his life. That I have been his light. The man is depressed (probably mentally ill) and ADD. I know this and I've let him know this. Whether he eventually figures it out for himself is another story. He attempted suicide and was addicted to many substances before I ever entered his life. So, the raining theory would have to be that something is up with him, but it's so much easier to blame someone else and not have to work on himself. I can grasp this concept.
I can also understand where I messed up in our relationship as well as in the majority of my relationships. I do have my H to thank for this. His leaving has been a major catalyst for some awesome changes in myself and in my relationships with my children and with others around me. I can't thank him enough for the push. I could have done without all the melodrama and the backstabbing, but it is what it is.
I choose to love him from a distance. I choose to be the best me I can be for myself and my children. If he eventually comes around and works on himself and chooses to be with me, that's a cherry on my sundae, but if that doesn't happen it won't kill me. I will never let someone dictate how I feel about me ever again. I am the designer of my destiny. I am the creator of my dreams.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
I don't know why I need this to happen in order to initate my changing ALOT of things but I did and now I am changing.
I read in Rick Warrens book about God's Power to Change your life.. that most people really want to change but they feel they can't maybe even feel they will fail so they don't even try.... But that once people are enduring pain... and the options are PAIN or Change... they choose change. I found that offensive because it was TOTALLY me!! LOL.
What my WAW doesn't get is that the change is happening and it's long term .. not short term and I told her the other night that her husband was changing ... her kids her changing and the life she wanted forever is forever changing and now she is not a part of it... so... blah..... for her!
Funny thing about change. It can really do a number on you. My husband has been trying to change for so long. We both thought that it was all him needing to change. Little did I know that I needed to do some changing to. Painful experience taught me the necessity of change. Sadly, I think he is happy in a weird twisted way not changing. His change was to leave me and not have to feel pain from failing to change. Which means he avoided change and accepted failing. Am I reading this right?
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
I think she is the same way. I told her the other night that the kids.. the oldest 2 had told me that since she left.. when she has them.. that she is spending no QTime with them. She is always on her cellphone or the computer and won't let them get near her. I wondering what she is doing or who she is talking too... DUH.. I know. Not me!
I told her what they said and I told her I didn't wanna get into what she was or wasn't doing; but that they were my children too and that if she was doing that she needed to stop... and needed to pay attention to them and love them in this tough time - especially since they openly are pissed at her.
Guess what... tonight.. kids said same thing.. that she is still on the cellphone or computer and hasn't changed.. surprise surprise.. ya know..
