Your situation is much like mine. H lives at home and continues an EA. He spewed the same sort of anger at me--children before H, emotional separation, separate lives, etc. He is afraid to "try" with me because he has been giving, giving, giving and needs to get something back. Now, anyone who has observed us would never think he was the "giver" in the relationship by a long shot but that is how he felt. Also, I am in MC at H's insistence as he carries on the A!
I vote for validating when they are angry as that has gotten me the most mileage so far.
