That's so positive. It's funny that the kids are bridging the gap for him. He doesn't have the confidence to do it on his own. I suppose because he realizes you might not want to reconcile anymore and he's scared of losing you forever.
(((Kalni)))
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
checking in on you... want to make sure your back is doing better. I can't wait to see your jewlery!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Thanks Sandy, my back is a bit better. My beads came, not all of them, but most. I really had no clue what I was doing when I ordered, so now I found myself with many things that dont fit together due to size (stringing materials and beads to get stringed, LOL!!). But I sat there looking at all the colors and materials, silver, fresh water pearls, silk, leather,organza and I got really excited... Now, all I need to do is figure out what to make of them
No news on H. We had a minor "fight" on the phone last night. I was upset he didnt call me all day and he was "what's wrong, tell me what's wrong". I almost told him : "I am seperated for 2 years, my patience has run out, my money has run out too, my dad is in a bad condition, my back hurts, I need sex , my work sucks, my kids are not living a normal life, I gained weight..., I miss true love and morning kisses, WTH do you meant what's wrong???????????????"
But, I didnt... I only said "would you be able to help me if I told you whats's wrong?". He said dont be aggressive, I replied I am not, I am just fed up and ended the call...
I know fb2, I wasn't very nice.
BTW, wing man has quit his job as a wing man after talking to H a couple of times with no result. Holy man is isolated in his cave on Mount Athos and I am stuck here in between lives.
BUT, I feel better. Not so desperate, not helpless anymore. I will be fine. K
"No news on H. We had a minor "fight" on the phone last night. I was upset he didnt call me all day and he was "what's wrong, tell me what's wrong"....
... I only said "would you be able to help me if I told you whats's wrong?". He said dont be aggressive, I replied I am not, I am just fed up and ended the call..."
But he asked you what was wrong, thats a good thing at least! Did it have to come out as a negative or not at all, could you not have turned this to a positive? Instead of going into hackles up mode.. what are you not giving me/doing for me.. and getting mad or fed up with him, could you have just said..
I miss you, I love you, I wish you were here so I could snuggle up in bed with you, I cant wait to see you...
???
I've been saying it for ages, but you wont do it..you've got to take that damn wall down! It isnt going to take itself down, its up to you (and dont suppose H is going to dismantle it for you either). Or, stay behind your wall and H behind his??
Why wont you at least try? You sure are stubborn, as you said to Lisa this week!
I only suggest this because you must still love him/want him on some level K, because you also said
Maybe it was not one of those days for you, but you have to try to be cordial when you speak with your husband. Try to not have sarcastic anger, but instead some compassion. I know that most of the marital problem is because of him, but you must try hard to not contribute any more to it.
BTW... I recently saw a news article about the Greek islands of Symi and Icaria having a high life expectancy. Pretty basic stuff - lack of stress, good diet, exercise and some genetics. Sounds like a great place to live - if only I could speak Greek!
K, Ali and Kerry have taken the words right out of my keyboard!!! I'm more convinced that you need to take the lead in improving communication at this stage - no more criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. This seems to be the heart of the problem. You can turn this ship around K if you really want to and you will get patience, money, kisses and lots of sex.
And when you and H talk, try to just really *listen* without reacting negatively - as if you were getting valuable information from him - like reading between the lines - you say he does not communicate to you but he really does - its all there in the words, tone of voice, body language.
PS. That holy man is in such a beautiful place! I would go visit his cave just for the view.
You know darn good and well that FG is going to jump all over FB2's comments and not only echo them, but accentuate them a bit.
You've got the power to lead him, but need to get over your adversion to doing it. Would it help to think of him as suffering from "relationship blindness" or another sort of malady that keeps him from seeing the "right" thing to do and leading you?
Maybe a small mindset change in this direction is all you need?..but then again, WTF do I know? My XW had an affair and D'd me, so I'm probably not the sagest of advisors, now am I?
I agree w/Kerry's comment on your tone needing to be compassionate when talking w/H.
Again, if he was "seriously ill" wouldn't you be compassionate with him when you spoke and interacted?
Isn't "emotional retardation" a serious illness? Your H is suffering from it, isn't he?
