Im so busy i dont know what to do with myself. I actually want to stay home more lol.
I still think about my W a lot, but its just not the same as before. I usually wind up disgusted, i dont want to talk to her, i dont want to see her. Its like someone turned the lights on and i see her for the monster that she really is, I made a mistake, but i am beginning to see how much she actually depended on me to take care of everything. She usually lounged around while i cleaned, cooked, took care of the kids (play and discipline), worked, worked some more, and worked some more. no mas.
As far as the D goes i havent heard back from my lawyer yet.
Im taking the little one to chucky cheese tomorrow, and then im going to indulge her shoe fetish... girls lol.
I was shocked, i went to the first showing of ST and there was only one person dressed up in federation regalia. It was a pretty good flick PD, im sure you will like it. Next summer flick will be Terminator, that looks pretty good too.
Have a good one PD, i hope all is well.
MLB
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
happy mothersday to all you who read this. For the good moms keep up the great work, and for the bad ones its time to grow up and put the little ones first.
mlb- slightly jaded.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
I never imagined things being this rough. Does everyone have that empty spot in their life that cant be filled or is it just me? I feel like i need to be doing something but nothing will do, just cant put my finger on it lol.
Anyway down to business, Talked to my W briefly on mothersday, she sounded upset like she always does. i passed the phone to my D2 quick, let them chat for awhile, told her to tell my MIL happy mothers day, that was about it. she was having a bbq with her new OM and his friends at my house, her house i guess.
On the bright side, my sister scored a job in hawaii and im going to help her move. Normally i would say im busy but ill make an exception this time lol. looks like im heading over in August for a few weeks, should be fun.
Ive thought about dating, im getting pretty lonely after six months, not a sex thing but i have almmost no companionship, i couldnt get serious with someone anyhow, as my feelings with wifey are so mixxed up.
gotta go, my #1 young lady demands some attention, its story time.
god bless you all, and take care
MLB
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
I think I could fit in a box! I have always wanted to go to Hawaii! Understand the being lonely feeling. I hope you and the little lady have a great night!
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
Talked to the W earlier, she wants joint custody, im going to string her along for about a month and the little one will be a resident where im at. At least i get to set this battlefield. Oh good news too, im buying another home fairly cheap.
Things are good, the moodswings i have suck but im a happier MLB then ive been in a long time.
Thank you all for supporting me through the hardest time of my life.
mlb
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
I talked to my bloodsucking lawyer today. He had some good news for me as far as legal custody goes. Im now a resident of Nebraska, so is my little one, If there is a battle its going to be on my battlefield. The D will be relatively simple, after six months seperated there really isnt a process. Just a little paperwork.
I have to confess, the door is still open. maybe just a crack, i went dark, when i do talk to her i am just plain nuetral, usually i just pass the phone to the little one.
It irks me that she NEVER calls to talk to her daughter, i always have to initiate contact and i try to keep that minimal.
What about me? Outside of some crazy dreams, im stable as i can be right now. The money is rolling in, Im about to buy a home for my daughter and I, I go out and do things alone and with my Daughter. No dates yet, although ive thought about asking a few different women out.
My W, ex, whatever she sounds horribly depressed whenever i talk to her. I deleted her from myspace, emails, started ditching old letters and photos, ive taken this shetox thing pretty seriously.
Sunday was my Bday, that was kind of rough, We made each others birthdays pretty special, this one i spent with my brother in a bar singing karaoke, which was fun but not really what i wanted to be doing.
anyway im rambling on, ill type forever if i dont stop myself. god bless you all, best wishes.
MLB
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Hey MLB, you are sounding pretty healthy in your current sitch. I distinctly remember thinking some of the same things at my 6-month separation anniversary, too. You are absolutely doing the right thing by taking care of your lucky little lady and making her number 1 in your life right now. She isn't too young to remember who was there for her in this dark period of both of your lives.
Just hearing how you talk about her and the fun stuff you do for her is making me tear up right now as I'm writing this. My D is a little older than yours, (12) but last summer when the W and boys were in Germany on vacation and the nukes hadn't been launched yet, my D wrote me a little handwritten note in some beautiful, flowing cursive... I keep it in my wallet and probably always will: one line in particular always gets me misty and for some reason, reading your discription seems to fit it as well:
"Even though I am too young to walk down the isle, I know when that day comes that it will be you who does."
Keep up the great work MLB and thanks for all your support and help as I've been on my own hard journey here.
Me40 WAW37 M18 T20 S18,14 D13 EA Bomb 6/08 Sep 11/20/08 Ret 08/09 Sep/Filed 11/09
We have kind of scratched each others back here, im really glad that things are moving the right direction for you. Thank you for all your support as well. You helped me get clarity and get on track again. God bless my friend.
MLB
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
I have always wanted to go to Hawaii! Understand the being lonely feeling. I hope you and the little lady have a great night!