I agree, your CC sounds like a wise man and smart too. Instead of letting the obvious awful behavior of your wife fog his judgement, he guided you to what is best for YOU and your daughter and NOT your feelings. I guess that is because he is not personally involved with this and I am sure he has experience.
As you say that, (exposure), can come later AFTER you make sure you have things ready hoping for the best possible outcome for you and your D. Also, which I sense is important to you, asking her directly if she intents to file, leaves no doubt in your head you gave her a last chance, no matter how improbable that seems at this point.
Stay calm and focused. I know it's hard but you need to. Think of it as strategic planning. Keep your eyes on the goal. As we say in Greek, "he who laughs last, laughs best". K
