Clueless- I'm so sorry. I think it takes time to settle into co-parenting and to know what you are really dealing with. You can't really make that assessment now.
Search your soul and really focus on what is best for the kids. What lifestyle will be the most familiar and stable for them.
I want H in my kids lives and I accommodate him. But, if we D, I will not continue having him in my home and jumping through hoops and since I have been primary care-giver for their whole lives, I tend to think they should live with me and see him a couple days a week. H would feel I was punishing him if he became peripheral but in my case it is his doing. Either way, what lifestyle will work best for the kids? Do some research, maybe consult a child behaviorist. Keep the focus on them.
