Thank you for chiming in again. Hey, I'm not sure if I misstated my sitch somewhere along the way, but I may have led my fellow posters here to believe that XW is 'in love' with DH#5. She may be, but I don't believe she is. More importantly, I've let go and don't really care. I am working to sort out my life and I'm using this time for ME.
I will say that holding on to XW, who didn't want to be with me, was a killer, but I have no one to blame for that but myself. It's strange how I finally had an epiphany on April 23rd after XW paraded DH#5 in front of me twice. In all honesty, I believe that DH#5 likes men, but that's neither here nor there. I just got disgusted with myself for living my life FOR someone else, and making decisions for myself based on what someone else might think or feel about it. Once I made the decision, dealing with the aftermath has been easy. I've seen her three times since then and talked with her on the phone a couple of times for a couple of minutes, but the 'pull' is gone. I'm free of my self-imposed spell for her. I'm moving forward. I'm not holding onto my R with XW. I see that I'm in control of ALL of my life, including my love life. In the less than 3 weeks since I let go, I've had more interest in me from women than I ever imagined I'd have. It's a bit bizarre, but it's nice.
At this point, I don't even think about whether or not XW will come back around. I assume she will not, but in my heart of hearts I know she will. At that point (and as I feel right now), I will tell her that I love her, I'll thank her for our children, thank her for our time together and tell her, "No thank you." I really have let get and feel as I said I'd feel all along when I got to this point: DONE.
Thank you, my brother. I'll keep you posted.
Letting Go Tom; JUST DO IT! previously hopeful_husband
my A: Fall 05 W found out: Feb 06; separated immediately W pursued D, final 7/11/07
