This is a tough spot... I see EnoughAlready's point, which is typically my stance. But now we're in a strategic spot, trying to get the best settlement before officially reporting/outing.
Out of principle, you don't want to divorce her, because this is her deal, not yours. But then, how do you ask to be served? How credible would it be?? Perhaps you would have to say something about seeking peace and resolution so that you can begin to heal and move forward.
However, it might serve you well (when it comes to settlement) if you are divorcing her on the grounds of her infidelity. Getting that on divorce papers might help you with custody.
