I'd definitely go for the dirty girl/sex toys route over the candles/romance. Everyone is allowed to enjoy candles/romance. I bet you even tried candles/romance. The presence/absence of candles/romance is NOT what is keeping her sexually repressed in the context of an M as a wife/mother.
And definitely do not skip the sex toys. Again, the eroscillator is a worthy investment, and far cheaper than a L or a C.
