Wow! We had a turn for the better last night. He asked me if he could talk to me. Luckily I was able to minimize the screen so he couldn't see that I was on this site.
Basically, he said that he wasn't going to the lake this weekend that he wanted to keep the counseling appt. He wants to work on things. He said at least if it doesn't work out we'll both know we did everything we could and maybe it will make things easier. He said he's just very scared of "getting his heart stomped on again." I resisted the urge to strangle him and said please know that I am not about to stomp on your heart.
I told him that I want to live a happy life. I'm working on making changes in my life to make that happen.
He came over to me and gave me a big hug and then started kissing me. You can probably guess what happened from there. That may have been a big mistake on my part but I guess we both just got caught up in the moment.
I'm going to continue to apply the last resort technique. I'm working hard on myself. I'll be happy with or without him.
I'm looking at counseling as an opportunity to put the old marriage to rest and to begin a new one. We'll see what happens. I feel like such a burden has been lifted from shoulders now.
