markhaving probs dropping the rope

[PositivelyMommy]

Mark,
As requested, I am here to check out the dropping the rope techniques. I agree with almost all of Gucci's post, nice work Gucci.

First. Get a job. Go get a job. Not having a job lowers your self esteem.

YES, YES, YES.

Stop initiating ANY contact with her. She needs to FEEL that you have had an awakening.

YES.

You seem to wrongly assume that if you act happy when you see her that this will make you more attractive to her. You are making a mistake that many others on this site make. What you need to do with the "acting happy" routine, is the routine SHE is doing on you. It should be more of acting happy that you are FREE from her and all the drama. Happy to get OFF the phone. Happy to drop the kids off to her because you have other important things going on. Happy WHEN you answer the phone, and then when you realize it is her on the other end, suddenly toning the happiness down a notch and getting to the reason she called and THEN ending the call politely and quickly.

In my humble and limited experience, I think you SHOULD act happy when you are with her and when you are without her. You should be happy ALL THE TIME. I feel that she needs to know that you are over her. That you are putting YOU first. You don't have to be rude about it, you can show kindness to her but just don't grovel. Not in the spirit that you are rid of her, but more in the spirit of, 'whether you choose to come back to me or not I have decided to be happy again and NO ONE will drag me down again.' That is manliness, that is decisiveness and confidence. Think 'I am strong', not 'I am SO happy without you'. Just my humble opinion, Gucci.

Go out and start golfing again. Quit punishing yourself by not doing something you ENJOY. She could care less either way.

YES, definitely do what you enjoy! Golfing is great!

She needs to think and feel that you have given up. She needs to see that you are now focused on having the time of your life. Throw the kids on her once in awhile. (like she does to you because she is focused on her little affair)

For some people this works. Some WAS won't wake up until they feel a loss, i.e. Mark really isn't going to wait for me, what have I done? For others, it's a relief. But either way, you need to move on with your life so start enjoying it!

Don't return emails or calls right away. Sometimes don't return them at all. Turn off your phone when out......

Yes, you don't owe her anything, you are entitled to your own free time. You are not on her beck and call.

Be evasive when she tries to spin what you are doing. Just agree with her view of things. (you may be right honey, I guess I am selfish sometimes)(and then end the call politely with no further comment)

Yes, again, you don't owe her any explanations. Agree with her, it will throw her for a loop.

I must say that you are coming across more feminine than masculine. I don't think that is very attractive to a woman...

Sorry, Gucci, IMO this is a bad choice of words. I wouldn't call it 'feminine' as it sounds insulting. As if being feminine is something negative or that females are wimpy. I would call it 'wussy'.