LBS Need help and support #3

[faithisbelieving]

song....perhaps I have misinterpreted somethings...and yes... I know some of my posts come across as negative..but they really aren't. I just try and get you to think and course correct....that is all...and not even saying that I am an expert here. I do not claim to be a pHd. in psych.

"Trust one who has gone through it."

"Believe one who has proved it. Believe an expert."

You must be careful about walking the detachment path and weaving in and out of nondetachment....and false hope messages. Many people here would say:
-oh...wow....definitely go to Mother's Day....be nice and show her how much you love her and keep the door open for her to return

Other's may see it differently:
-it sounds like she ignored you...the boys see this....they see you tolerating the disrespectful treatment...she dishes it out and you permit it....messages of false hope that you two will be fine

This is just my opinion...but I think that it would have been better to do the cards, flowers thing, encouraged the boys to have a good time with their mom...etc....but defined a border and NOT be treated as you were in front of your boys.

Would "boys...I love your mother...we are going through difficult times...but it's best that you spend time with her today alone". Is this courage, defining the way you want to be treated? Is it saying 'I love you but I will not be treated like a doormat'

or

Sit at the table, be ignored..not talked to ..and let the boys see how it is OK for a wife to treat her husband this way? Was this wimpy wuss behavior? Was it a good example for your boys to see...dad left in a corner? Was the need to go pursuit? Was it fear of being alone? Neediness?

Just saying....think. Is your behavior drawing her closer to you or pushing her away????

Think.

FIB