markhaving probs dropping the rope

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Silver Fox,

In plain English? I think the primary MLC approach is a bunch of hooey.

But that's just me.

Puppy

[markhaving probs]

Gucciloafer,

As I cannot catagorically state my W is in an A how would I progress from here?

[gucci loafer]

She IS either having an affair or has a romantic interest in someone. I don't know what more proof you need.


First. Get a job. Go get a job. Not having a job lowers your self esteem. Whatever it takes to get one. Women don't respect men who don't work HARD and have a hard time having romantic feelings for men who sit home and lack motivation. Ironing and washing the clothes and vacuuming the carpet is great, but only if you balance it with MANLY things too. Don't be ashamed to be masculine. Women are attracted to masculine men.. Men who have emotional strength. Men who are confident. Men who stand up for themselves. Men who aren't afraid to show a woman that if you don't want to be with me, then fine, so be it, there are plenty of fish in the sea and I can and will be with someone who thinks I AM all that.... It is called BALANCE. I don't think turning into Mr. Mom is turning her on very much. Women respect a man who is masculine that KNOWS when and how to help her around the home, but don't respect a man who shows more feminine traits than masculine traits. BALANCE... You are out of balance. More masuline needed, less feminine right now.


Next. Stop initiating ANY contact with her. She needs to FEEL that you have had an awakening. You seem to wrongly assume that if you act happy when you see her that this will make you more attractive to her. You are making a mistake that many others on this site make. What you need to do with the "acting happy" routine, is the routine SHE is doing on you. It should be more of acting happy that you are FREE from her and all the drama. Happy to get OFF the phone. Happy to drop the kids off to her because you have other important things going on. Happy WHEN you answer the phone, and then when you realize it is her on the other end, suddenly toning the happiness down a notch and getting to the reason she called and THEN ending the call politely and quickly.

Go out and start golfing again. Quit punishing yourself by not doing something you ENJOY. You are only punishing yourself by NOT golfing. You think that this is a 180 by not golfing. She could care less either way. You have fallen for the typical WS excuses. She IS having an affair or is interested deeply in someone. Stop punishing yourself. Get back out and start golfing again. Start going out and partying. (do what she is doing)

She needs to think and feel that you have given up. She needs to see that you are now focused on having the time of your life. Throw the kids on her once in awhile. (like she does to you because she is focused on her little affair)

Don't return emails or calls right away. Sometimes don't return them at all. Turn off your phone when out......

Be evasive when she tries to spin what you are doing. Just agree with her view of things. (you may be right honey, I guess I am selfish sometimes)(and then end the call politely with no further comment)

I must say that you are coming across more feminine than masculine. I don't think that is very attractive to a woman...


Nutshell..

Get a job.
Start golfing
Get a life and start to party and have fun.
Continue to take care of the children and be involved with them when you are with them.
When you aren't with them, then be selfish and pursue fun, excitement and activities.
Stop intiating any contact.


What you have been doing isn't and hasn't worked in the least.

Take another route.

[markhaving probs]

Thanks gucci,

That's telling me and no mistake. I thought I was making some progress, even in such early days but I must admit she has not responded to anything.

Please could you have a look at my WAW1 thread as I have a moral question that needs answering or advising on.

[SmileysPerson]

I'll agree with Gucci here, Mark -- job = self-respect. And I don't care what the job is -- from my POV, no such thing as work that is not honorable [ well, okay, maybe mercenary or assassin or pimp, but I'll assume here that those aren't at the top of your list :-) ]. Self-respect = confidence. Confidence = attraction.

YOU LIKE GOLF. YOU LIKE GOLF. YOU LIKE GOLF. So golf for f*ck's sake!

If WAW -- don't take this wrong way -- if WAW died, you'd still carry on, right? If WAW was in a horrible pileup on the M25 and lost her looks or a limb, you'd carry on, right? She wouldn't be "herself" anymore, but you'd soldier on.

So she's not herself right now.

Soldier on.

[markhaving probs]

Cheers Smiley,

I'm looking for work as we speak. Also, thanks for the analogy, I will soldier on.

Mark

[antlers]

Self-respect = confidence. Confidence = attraction.



If WAW -- don't take this wrong way -- if WAW died, you'd still carry on, right? If WAW was in a horrible pileup on the M25 and lost her looks or a limb, you'd carry on, right? She wouldn't be "herself" anymore, but you'd soldier on.

So she's not herself right now.

Soldier on.

That's another way to look at it! Another reason why it's helpful for others, who have no emotional investment in the situation, to look at our threads and posts. They are able to help us see things from a different perspective. Thanks for that.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Mark,

The things that Gucci is describing above are things that I did the past couple of months. Golfing with my boys. Happy hour with my buds. Enjoying a good cigar out by my pool, instead of apologizing to my wife like I used to for how they smelled. Didn't initiate any phonecalls, and cut her off politely when she called and after I answered any questions she had.

Looked good and smelled good.

Cleaned up my own messes, but stopped cleaning up hers around the house.

She kept checking out my Facebook page, and seemed VERY concerned with who I was going to be dating after we divorced. I'm telling you, this stuff WORKS. It's SAD that it does, in some ways, but it just DOES.

People want what they can't have. Period.

Puppy

[markhaving probs]

Puppy,

I saw from reading your threads that it clearly works based on your success. I'll put this into action.

[PositivelyMommy]

Mark,
As requested, I am here to check out the dropping the rope techniques. I agree with almost all of Gucci's post, nice work Gucci.

First. Get a job. Go get a job. Not having a job lowers your self esteem.

YES, YES, YES.

Stop initiating ANY contact with her. She needs to FEEL that you have had an awakening.

YES.

You seem to wrongly assume that if you act happy when you see her that this will make you more attractive to her. You are making a mistake that many others on this site make. What you need to do with the "acting happy" routine, is the routine SHE is doing on you. It should be more of acting happy that you are FREE from her and all the drama. Happy to get OFF the phone. Happy to drop the kids off to her because you have other important things going on. Happy WHEN you answer the phone, and then when you realize it is her on the other end, suddenly toning the happiness down a notch and getting to the reason she called and THEN ending the call politely and quickly.

In my humble and limited experience, I think you SHOULD act happy when you are with her and when you are without her. You should be happy ALL THE TIME. I feel that she needs to know that you are over her. That you are putting YOU first. You don't have to be rude about it, you can show kindness to her but just don't grovel. Not in the spirit that you are rid of her, but more in the spirit of, 'whether you choose to come back to me or not I have decided to be happy again and NO ONE will drag me down again.' That is manliness, that is decisiveness and confidence. Think 'I am strong', not 'I am SO happy without you'. Just my humble opinion, Gucci.

Go out and start golfing again. Quit punishing yourself by not doing something you ENJOY. She could care less either way.

YES, definitely do what you enjoy! Golfing is great!

She needs to think and feel that you have given up. She needs to see that you are now focused on having the time of your life. Throw the kids on her once in awhile. (like she does to you because she is focused on her little affair)

For some people this works. Some WAS won't wake up until they feel a loss, i.e. Mark really isn't going to wait for me, what have I done? For others, it's a relief. But either way, you need to move on with your life so start enjoying it!

Don't return emails or calls right away. Sometimes don't return them at all. Turn off your phone when out......

Yes, you don't owe her anything, you are entitled to your own free time. You are not on her beck and call.

Be evasive when she tries to spin what you are doing. Just agree with her view of things. (you may be right honey, I guess I am selfish sometimes)(and then end the call politely with no further comment)

Yes, again, you don't owe her any explanations. Agree with her, it will throw her for a loop.

I must say that you are coming across more feminine than masculine. I don't think that is very attractive to a woman...

Sorry, Gucci, IMO this is a bad choice of words. I wouldn't call it 'feminine' as it sounds insulting. As if being feminine is something negative or that females are wimpy. I would call it 'wussy'.