Oh Pup! You deserve this so much. I thought of something when I was reading Old Timer's post. A female does need that flirty fun excitment. She does need variety. And.....I hope this doesn't gross you out when I say this, but when I went into my "crazy days" with OM, the thing I liked was that I could be that "dirty girl" that Old Timer was talking about. I could never be that with my H. I don't know why I could not reach that place with him, but it was like I could not get past that proper Christian wife and mother role and well........you can prabably guess the rest.
I hope that this time will take for you two. A lot of prayers have gone up and it sounds like she is serious this time. I thought you told us that she has just lost all attraction for you! HA! Doesn't sound like it to me. That is great.
Keep the love young and fun and the sex dirty and maybe that is the magic formula for a good marriage. Well, kind of just kidding there b/c you know me, I believe we have to fit God into that formula, too. Anyway, realy happy for you two.
Love, Sandi
Sandi, thanks for the post! She did even use the words "dirty girl" during LM Saturday night, so I think you're all onto something here! Believe me, I can definitely do that.
She told me something when we were talking into the wee hours, and your post reminded me. I said "I thought you were no longer attracted to me?" and she said "I realized that it wasn't YOU that I grew unattracted to; it was 'The IT' that I was unattracted to."
"The It" is what we call this "thing" that's always reared its ugly head between us. This place we get to where the walls go up, she stops responding, I stop pursuing, and the cycle spins downward, down the drain and into resentment. It is THIS ONE THING that has really been the ONLY thing major we've ever had as a problem in our relationship, and it's what we need help pushing thru the next time it comes to pay us a visit. Because as I'm as I'm sitting here, it WILL pay us a visit again, in regular cycles.
I know that we all have real life to deal with, too. Keep the bedroom a place of sanctuary, fun, and fulfillment. IF there is a TV in there, get it out now!
Look for a Pure Romance consultant, get a catalogue, and you and Mrs. Puppy look together. There are some great books that make this so much fun. Women want the whole enchilada--fun, spontaneous sex, and being loved and cherished.
Read 1001 Ways To Be Romantic. There is another book that I want to give you the title of--I have to go find it in my room . I will get it for you later, when I have time to look.
I see much hope and love here. Hopefully I will be there someday soon.
Living God's blessings with grace and signity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Chocolateyes strikes again! Good for both of you, Pup! I don't know if you really need toys, but sparking up and keeping up the sex life is crucial. My H seems to like the little nighties that I buy from Fredericks.com. There are some really sexy things with strategically placed holes that really turn him on. Maybe she would enjoy modeling one of them for you. Then there are some really cute little maids' outfits. Role playing is good. You know, she puts it on and cleans the bedroom and you come up behind her....
LOL, and "mmmmmmmm."
I bought her a gift certificate for a new bathing suit for Mother's Day. In the past, she would have gone shopping for it alone, or maybe with our daughters. Yesterday, she sent me the following note:
(Puppy),
I was thinking that it would be nice to spend a day together. I mean like one day, we take the boys to school, and maybe you and me go to the beach (I know you hate the beach, but there are outdoor showers and bathrooms, so maybe we can change clothes before the drive home). We could leave around 10 and pick up the boys from school together. We could just lay on the beach, and relax and talk for a little bit. Maybe we could pick a thurs. or friday sometime. Do you think you could or would want to do that? And maybe if I can find a nice bathing suit I can model it for you
I know that we all have real life to deal with, too. Keep the bedroom a place of sanctuary, fun, and fulfillment. IF there is a TV in there, get it out now!
Actually, our bedroom is TRASHED. Our whole HOUSE is extremely messy, but our bedroom is the worst, and it's always been a sore spot with me. She had even promised to clean it in exchange for cutting back on her work hours. She cut the hours, and after spending one afternoon getting started on the bedroom, never touched it again. I was going to help, but it's one of those "I need to go thru everything" things, so she was going to sort, and I was going to do the heavy lifting and cleaning.
I know that we all have real life to deal with, too. Keep the bedroom a place of sanctuary, fun, and fulfillment. IF there is a TV in there, get it out now!
Actually, our bedroom is TRASHED. Our whole HOUSE is extremely messy, but our bedroom is the worst, and it's always been a sore spot with me. She had even promised to clean it in exchange for cutting back on her work hours. She cut the hours, and after spending one afternoon getting started on the bedroom, never touched it again. I was going to help, but it's one of those "I need to go thru everything" things, so she was going to sort, and I was going to do the heavy lifting and cleaning.
Remains to be done, but NEEDS to be done.
Puppy
Do it! One thing that DH has taken note of is that our room is always picked up--something I never did in the past. The bed is made every morning, nothing is laying around. Even right now, with having the seasonal clothes totes out, they are stacked neatly in the corner while I am working on flipping the closets around. The master bathroom sink is not cluttered with stuff--I wipe it down and put everything away every morning when I am done getting ready. I always have a candle or wax tart burning in there--it is safer than putting it on the dresser-and you can smell it in the whole room.
Yes, I do still have my books next to the bed, but now they are in a tote and not all over the floor and the nightstand. The room is not big enough to add a bookcase.
Tell her that you want your bedroom to be a place for you two to retreat together from day to day life. Tell her you want to work with her to make it happen. Do not ask her, tell her. Get it done and together go buy new bed linens that you both like--make it a reward for a job well done. Consider a complete remodel--paint is cheap and moving the furniture is just sweat equity for a better marriage. Change the curtains--even if you just swap them for a pair somewhere else in the house. the important thing is--do it together. It is an investment that you BOTH atrre making for a new beginning.
Living God's blessings with grace and digntiy~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
. I will get it for you later, when I have time to look. 